The True Journal of a Crazy Summer Road Trip
by Shawn30
Summary: Chapter 2, Day 1. 18 hours into their road trip Buffy and Xander encounter a little problem in Bellefonte, Kentucky. BX Romance
1. Chapter 1

**Title: "The Amazingly Accurate and True Journal of a Crazy Summer Road Trip"  
Volume 1: The Takeoff (1/6)  
Written by: Shawn**

**Summary: Six-day a week work schedules for the last several months, a very active Hellmouth, pot smoking elderly neighbors, and the sheer insanity of living in a eleven person household reaches a boiling point for Buffy and Xander on a hot summers night.**

**Rated: R for adult language, naughty humor, and BtVS-styled violence.  
Category: Romance/Humor/Action-Adventure **

**Ship: BX always!**

**Timeline/Spoilers: Post the BtVS finale "Chosen." In 2003 the Scoobies traveled with Giles and Robin to England to help rebuild the Watchers Council. That lasted for two years until April of 2005 when Buffy, Xander, Willow, Dawn, Faith, and six S.I.T's were sent to Cleveland in May of 2005 to officially keep a day to day watch over the Hellmouth there. BX began dating in 2005 just before they left England. All else is explained within.**

**Timeline/Spoilers Notes: I have not and never will write a story with a one-eyed Xander because it made no sense whatsoever, IMHO, for him to lose the eye. It felt like they weren't using him for anything and he wasn't important to the plot, so lets just take something from him. rolls eyes Xander has both of his eyes here.**

**Disclaimer: I own Zippo. Joss and Mutant Enemy own it all.**

**My personal archive: http/groups. Notes 1: No angst, sadness, or heavy drama here. Just a crazy, action packed, romantic story about two people and a road trip that will change their lives forever. Hope you enjoy it. Fun times are ahead.**

**Authors Notes 2: The Scoobies and S.I.T's live in a seven bedroom, three bathroom home.**

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**The man who goes alone can start today, but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready. -Henry David Thoreau**

**Stop worrying about the potholes in the road and enjoy the journey. -Babs Hoffman**

**The world is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page. -Augustine (354-430)**

**I am one of those who never knows the direction of my journey until I have almost arrived. -Anna Louise Strong**

**It is good to have an end to journey towards, but it is the journey that matters in the end. -Ursula K. LeGuin**

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**The home of Xander Harris, Buffy Summers, Dawn Summers, Willow Rosenberg, Faith Williams, Sandy Parkens, Claire Saunders, Bella Reyes, Monique Thompson, Cassandra Vernicova, and Mya Simmons 1750 Pickens Lane Sunday, July 19, 2006 11:45 PM Cleveland, Ohio**

"You're glowing, honey. And not in that sexy, beautiful sort of way you normally do?"

Xander's uncanny ability to convey the obvious never ceased to amaze Buffy, who's racing towards the side door of their home. He parked nine seconds ago. "You're glowing too, you know. And that's not the bad part."

"Just hurry inside before we start attracting flies," he said over her shoulder as she fumbled with her house keys. He's been breathing through his mouth for the last thirty minutes, and doesn't even want to think about the damage done to the interior of his car on the ride over. Sweet salvation lived under the jets of a shower faucet. The sooner the better. Thankfully, Buffy's just opened the door and walked inside. "At last."

Buffy flew into the house and kicked off her shoes, then rounded the short hallway, stopping just inside the living room entrance with Xander on her heels. Faith, Willow, and Dawn all looked up at the same time, staring at her and Xander in a shocked manner. Buffy met their curious expressions with as much dignity as she could muster. "Yes, I am fully aware we are glowing."

Dawn's face slowly but assuredly squinted until she placed her hand over her nose and mouth. "Oh my God, you two smell rotten. Did you fall in a trash bin or something?"

Unsettled by the odd state they arrived in, Willow sprinted from around the couch she had been sitting on watching TV to stand in front of her two oldest friends. The rank odor they effortlessly emitted forced her to take a step backwards and suppress a gag. They were covered from head to toe in a glowing green slime. Even their hair was drenched down to the scalp in the disgusting mucus. "Are you two alright? What happened?"

Xander shrugged, as if this was all so normal for them. "What happened was after we finished our patrol we took in a late movie, and then went for burgers and shakes at Burgers and Shakes Diner," he explained as he glowed next to Buffy. "After dinner we heard rumbling and rattling noises coming from behind the restaurant. Like any couple of self-respecting good guys, we had to investigate and BAM! There was the Gorphin demon we'd been looking for the last three weeks trying to eat a homeless man. It seems 'Mr. Big, Bloated, and Disgusting' found the poor guy rummaging through the trash. Buffy and I ran to my car, retrieved what all the cool guys carry in their trunks these days."

"Two swords," Buffy nodded.

"And ran back around the restaurant. After a bit of witty banter and the general death threats, as per the super hero/villain confrontation manual mandates, we engaged the green puss monster in a fight." Xander took a look at himself and Buffy covered in the monsters blood. "As you can see we were victorious as well as ..."

"Slimed?" Faith chimed in, laughing from her Lazy Boy recliner. "Fuck, you two look like the crap that crap crapped on."

"That smell is like death itself."

"Thank you, oh compassionate sister of mine," Buffy noted Dawn's way with a disapproving scowl. The scent wafting from her clothes was beyond fowl. No cleaners would be able to save the blouse she's wearing. And she really liked her blouse. "Xander stabbed it from the front and I stabbed it from behind."

"Double penetration." Faith nodded, just to screw around with them. "I'm down with that," she winked. The comment flew of Dawn's head, but Willow blushed just the same. Xander and Buffy felt not a ounce of amusement at the moment. "Then what?"

"IT BLEW UP!" Buffy shouted as her anger rose to a higher level. Her clothes were ruined. Her shoes. Heaven knows she has to get into a hair salon as soon as possible. Whatever will she tell them about what happened? Some days her life sucked so badly. "That thing simply exploded all over us in one big gooey burst. It didn't turn to dust like it was supposed to. It didn't fade away or melt or sink into the ground or anything nice and normal. Oh no, it went Poof all over us."

Willow worked harder than Faith and Dawn to restrain her laughter at her friends expense, but alas, the amusement overwhelmed her as she took in the sight of her two best friends covered in glow in the dark goo that smelled like they had taken a nap naked on a pile of rotten fish. She approached them with her arms out, about to extend a comforting hug, then thought better of that and stepped back farther. "Well, at least the mucus demon is off the streets and won't eat any more homeless people. That's a good thing. In times like these I feel we have to focus in on the good things."

"No, Wills. A good thing is a very long, very hot shower followed by the ritualistic burning of our clothes," Xander said as he and Buffy started for the stairs.

"Uhm, guys," Dawn called out with a half-smile, half-step backwards cause Buffy just might be about to go into a postal rage. "I hate to be the bearer of more bad news, but a water main burst down the street and all the water is off until noon tomorrow." Their blank expressions were almost comical if the situation weren't insane enough. Faith's snickering in the background. "We do have five gallons of spring water in the kitchen and there's some water left in the water hose in the backyard. You could clean up a little in the kiddy pool Faith won at the amusement park."

And with that bit of knowledge, Buffy lost it. Eyes widened, teeth bared, jaws and fists clenched. "Are you saying you expect me to take a bath with a water hose in a freaking kiddy pool outside in the backyard?" Her voice rose a arc higher with every word, signifying Mount Saint Summers was about to blow. Faith's continuous laughter only increased her ire. Willow steadily backed away, sensing a psychotic episode on the horizon. Even Xander shifted aside a little from her, and made non-verbal eye contact with Dawn on a possible escape route out the house. "You have got to be kidding me?"

"Are you sure all the water is off?" Xander looked around and found only nods. His luck just kept getting better and better as he got older. "This is almost as bad as that night Dawn made all that Mexican food." He shuddered and his hand rested over his belly in a protective manner.

"Nothing!" Willow declared with a shaky hand as the memories of a hospital stomach pump ran through her mind, "Absolutely nothing compares to the horrors of Mexican Night. Do not even speak of it again." In her best English accent she said, "Tis a thing of evil, it was. A night of mayhem and debauchery."

Dawn frowned. "Hey, standing right here."

"Sorry, D. Mexican Night will go down in infamy. Your cooking almost murdered us," Faith remembered none to fondly. "We sent some of what was left to the Council scientists. They're still working on it."

"Well that's the last time I'll cook dinner for any of you."

"GOOD!" came from everyone in the room.

Dawn gave them all the middle finger.

Buffy stood there shaking her head in complete frustration. Covered in glow in the dark goo and smelling like trash, and this was a Monday. Work sucked. Slaying sucked. Home sucked. She needed something to kill. Or strangle. Or at least maim a little. "Come on, Xander. It doesn't look like we have any other option unless it's the YMCA."

"Bathing in a kiddy pool will no doubt be a highlight of my illustrious life," he grumbled behind her.

"I'll go up stairs and get you some towels, soap, shampoo, and clean clothes," Dawn offered. "Faith, grab some sheets so they can have some privacy."

Faith rose from the recliner. "Okay, but I'm not getting to close to the smelly twins. They're funky, but not in a cool 70's music sort of way."

"I hate you all," Buffy tossed over her shoulder as she walked towards the back door. "Haaateee" she hissed.

"YEAH, WELL AT LEAST WE SMELL GOOD!" Dawn shouted while running upstairs, grinning the whole time.

**20 minutes later**

As beautiful as her slender nude figure was to behold by moonlight, Xander never in a million years thought he'd be hosing Buffy down while she stood in the center of a Sesame Street kiddy pool in their backyard at night. He worked on her hair first, using the hose while she massaged the shampoo through her scalp, then rinsed away the soap from her body the way she had done for him a few minutes ago. "I'm just washing that goo right outta your hair, just washing that goo right outta your hair," he sang and listened to her sweet laughter as the water flow began to slow down. "You better finish up. We're just about out of H20."

They're both naked as the day they were born with two large white sheets and a high fence shielding them from the neighbors who lived on both sides. Blindly reaching for the towel she laid by the side of the pool, Buffy motioned for Xander to turn off the water, then began drying her face and hair off. "That feels so much better. It wasn't a true shower, but at least we smell better."

"We are Zestfully clean once more," Xander said before wrapping a larger towel around her slim form, drying her off with his arms around her. She gave him a quick kiss in appreciation as he held her close. "All better?"

"Yep," Buffy returned his lighter shift in mood. A men and women's pair of workout sweats were quickly donned. "We no longer glow. I think that's a positive turn of events."

"Amen to that, my dearest Slayer love."

While dressing, Xander sniffed the air and suddenly found himself recognizing an all to familiar scent. From the first day they moved into this house after returning from London, the two elderly couples who lived in the homes on either side of them sat in rockers on their back porches most nights and engaged in a very interesting hobby. "Suddenly, I want snacks."

Sniffing the air herself, Buffy laughed. "It's like we have Cheech living on one side and Chong on the other. Or maybe Snoop Dogg. Those couples smoke so much pot it boggles the mind. We get second hand high every single night. If I fail a mandatory drug test at work I'm hiring some elderly goons to beat them up."

"Honey, you must remember. They smoke it for their glaucoma."

Buffy just rolled her eyes. "They drive faster than we do and have perfect eye sight. I caught Old Man Jackson staring at the girls sun tanning in the backyard the other day like he was a kid in a candy store. He didn't even have his glasses on. And don't get me started on Mrs. Gertrude. I saw her eyeing you like a piece of meat when you were cutting the grass the other day with your shirt off. I thought her fake teeth were about to fall out of her mouth. Those same teeth hold her joint every night."

"Are you implying that they don't smoke marijuana for their health and eye sight?"

"Okay, now you're making fun of me. And after yet another ten-hour work day with no end in sight I'm to tired to be made fun of. I need a good nights sleep beside you." His arm slug over her shoulder, tugging her closer as she leaned into him. "But before that, let's snag a couple bags of Doritos."

"Second hand high, baby?"

"Second hand high," Buffy repeated, following Xander back inside the house.

**15 minutes later**

Clean once more, Buffy strolled into her bedroom and hopped on her bed. She shut her eyes for a brief moment to enjoy the quiet and the comfort after another long day of work and stabbing monsters with swords. But for some reason she wasn't surprised when the quiet and comfort she savored soon came to a crashing halt.

A household of eleven people that all slept on the same floor could drive anyone insane. And after having gone insane for a short period of time, she would rather not repeat it.

The sound of Xander's fist banging loudly on Mya and Cassandra's bedroom door in a effort to intervene on yet another argument between Slayer-powered seventeen year olds was quickly drowned out by the voices coming from Buffy's answering machine. Seated on her side of the bed, she deleted an offer from a new satellite dish company in town. The house had six receivers already. There was a message from Giles, but it didn't seem to important, so she'll call him back in the morning. Then Captain Paul's deep baritone voice told her that all three teams reported no strange or unusual activity on their sweep of the city tonight. Buffy was most pleased to hear that, figuring with a grin it was because her and Xander already took care of it.

Unlike Sunnydale, which at best was a small suburb, Cleveland was a huge city of 495,817 people and stretched 77.6 square miles. It's the 33rd largest city in the entire country and contained twelve cemeteries alone, all double the size of the mere three in Sunnydale. Couple that with a brand spanking new Hellmouth near Cuyahoga River spewing forth and drawing in other-worldly baddies called for a greater force than the core Scoobies and a group of S.I.T's going on nightly street patrols could possibly muster. With a new Watchers Council in place, updated for this day and age, Giles and Robin recognized the potential problems in advance and made the necessary contacts in City Hall to arrange a special 'off the books' task force within the Cleveland Police Force called 'Underground Vice.' Twenty-five specially trained and armed non-uniformed police officers who work closely with the Scoobies in protecting the city, keeping watch over the new Hellmouth, and a ear to the street for any strange happenings.

As sworn in police officers, albeit 'off the books', Buffy and Faith worked and trained at the CPD with the other officers full-time, while the S.I.T'S, along with Willow, Xander and Dawn worked evenings. A city the size of Cleveland was to huge to do things any other way, and after a year and some change the Scoobies and the Police Department have settled into a solid working situation. Thankfully, Xander's old boss in Sunnydale had a brother-in-law who was starting his own construction company in Cleveland. Xander's work record was so good, and his relationship with his former boss in particular that a job was arranged on the strength of that alone. Six months later he was a crew chief again. A position he held before and had ample experience in.

The last message finished with another delete. Buffy yawned, settling back on her king sized bed, finally able to relax for the first time since 8:00 AM this morning. Ten hours of fielding anonymous phone calls about the paranormal, going over possible vampire reports and false claims of 'underworld activity,' as well as staking out a old used car lot that turned up nothing was just another long day in a years worth of very long, six day a week schedules. She's burned out not only by that, but a lack of quality time with the man she loves and a house full of crazy people, specifically six seventeen-year old girls who acted seventeen every chance they got.

Secretly, she loved her girls. But sometimes she wanted to strangle them. She suddenly with a smile wondered how often Giles had that exact same thought about her. She figured with no malice at all it had to be more than a few times.

Just down the hall she heard Xander rolling off a string of reasons why fighting over the same boy was not only insane, but that they didn't want his over-worked sweetheart to come down the hall, tear their bedroom door off and make them sleep in the backyard the way she did two weeks ago. And heaven help them if their loud shouting woke Faith from a fitful sleep. He reminded them they wouldn't be able to call the police because Buffy and Faith were the police.

Blissfully, silence seemed to reign supreme. Yet again Xander's calm temper and insightful, albeit funny, threats have brought peace and serenity to the household. Buffy just loved that man. Against rhyme and reason, she adored him in simple moments like these when he could have easily left the girls for her to deal with since she is their Slayer teacher, but instead kissed her cheek and told her to get in bed and relax because he was going to take care of it. All because she's his honey.

It felt so nice to be someone's honey again, she thought in a pretty good mood.

Now if only she could find something to watch on TV until Xander came to bed she'd be even better. She pressed the buttons on the Sony twenty-inch TV's remote, but nothing happened. She pressed them again, and came close to throwing the remote at the wall until she remembered the promise she made to her boyfriend she wouldn't throw any more TV remotes at any walls ever again. He got so tired of fixing the big holes. "Ah ha," Buffy announced to herself when she discovered the true culprit must be the weak batteries she admittedly hasn't changed in a couple of months.

"A girls gotta do what a girls gotta do." Buffy remembered Xander threw a pack of triple A batteries in his top dresser drawer the other day. She hopped off the bed and walked over, then pulled open the dresser and began rummaging through the various items of oddity. One bright orange stress ball, three Spiderman comic books, a Darth Vader action figure, around six dollars in change, two scratch-off lottery tickets he didn't win anything on, ten loose keys, a half eaten cookie that made her frown, a picture of her that made her smile, a marker, and various receipts and business papers. She found the batteries pretty quickly, but one receipt seemed to call out to her. She doesn't know why she zeroed in on it, but when she did she plucked it with her hand and read it, then smiled... then reread it... then reread it again.

On Christmas morning this past year Xander presented Buffy with five gifts, all of which she loved, but the one that had her on a giggly Cloud-9 trip all day long was the pair of round diamond ear rings secured in platinum that she fell in love with on sight. They were beyond beautiful and cost an amount she still hadn't managed to get him to admit to. With the receipt now in her hand the mystery was solved. She saw they cost two thousand dollars. Jesus... The money never mattered to her as she loved the ear rings no matter how much they cost. No, that wasn't a big deal at all.

What was the big deal was that the receipt showed two purchases from Zales Jewelers. One was the ear rings, but the second was... Buffy blinked once... then again... then squinted her eyes to make sure she was clearly reading what she thought she was reading... It might help if she breathed, but she couldn't... the staring continued... she turned on the small lamp on her night table so that there was more light in the room to insure she was reading what she thought she was reading correctly.

At long last Buffy inhaled and exhaled five very long breaths, sat down at the edge of the bed and held the receipt in her shaky hands. If she's reading this right the cataclysmic implications were Earth shattering and... and... "Oh my god," Buffy whispered to herself as a swell of powerful emotion swept over her almost to the point of lightheadedness.

All because right under the purchase of the diamond ear rings was the purchase of a diamond platinum three-stone semi-bezel engagement ring. A seven thousand dollar diamond engagement ring. A seven thousand dollar engagement ring that Xander repurchased for... suddenly, her mind went through a number of equally zany as they were probable scenarios, but in the end common sense led her to one unmistakable truth.

The ring was for her.

Oh God...

Ever since that fateful rainy night in London fourteen months ago when they took a walk just for the hell of it after work, something changed between them. Something new sparked and not because of any fundamental changes individually. Sunnydale was two years behind them. Joyce, Tara, and Anya passed away from their lives. Teenagers had become adults. Lovers and loves had come and gone. Losses happened as life deemed. And through it all they had maintained a special friendship, even through the rocky periods. That friendship led to a hug of sorts under a tree in the park they wandered in to during the storm. That led to a tender, careful first kiss that Xander dared to try and Buffy found herself enjoying immensely.

They talked that night for three more hours, and even on the phone before they went to bed, but never about the kiss. And they didn't talk about the second kiss they shared three days later in a elevator on the way to Giles office. And even after a wonderful first night of passionate lovemaking a month later, afterwards they chatted about everything but what was happening between them. Then one day over lunch they talked and everything was okay. There was no need to over think what made you happy. It really was that simple because love often is at the end of the day.

That beautiful first day led to this one. Buffy's eyes focused on that the receipt until they shut from staring for so long. She simply could not fathom being in this situation. It was inconceivable for the lifestyle she led. It was more than true that she was absolutely in love with Xander. That in the last year she's grown to enjoy living her life with him by her side. Her very best friend was also her very best confidant, lover, and warm safe place whenever life got to be a little to much. She's years removed from Spike, Riley, and Angel. Two have moved on and one disappeared, but she doesn't look for him in the night. She spends her nights in the arms of a man who makes her the center of his world, as he is the center of hers.

Cleveland was not Sunnydale. Working for the CPD and Watcher's Council wasn't the same as being a high school counselor. Dawn has a sister, but doesn't need her the way she used to because she's grown now. Things are different in so many ways. She's not the woman she used to be. Xander isn't the man he used to be. Nothing is the same anymore.

As if suddenly hit by a jolt of electricity, a clarity of the soul sent Buffy barreling towards one inescapable truth. She's spent the last fifteen minutes thinking about how wonderful the last year of her life has been and how different things are and not once has the idea come to her that she didn't want to be Xander's wife. Sure, the idea of him asking her is terrifying. Her knees are shaking and her fingers are fumbling and her heart's doing back flips. But at age twenty-five, with a real career now and the aspects of her Slaying life finally in order, she's in a different frame of mind. A altered, better than it's ever been before place in her life. She's in a committed, loving relationship with a man that knows every drink she likes and how to make them. He knows her favorite breakfast order at IHOP. He knows exactly how she liked her stakes shaved down and doesn't mind when she gets emotional during her period. He's sincerely over who she's dated in her past. He knows her shoe size, her favorite cereal, the first Halloween outfit she ever wore, how utterly imperfect she can be and still he loved her with all his heart. He's loved just the same in return.

A light shined, though not in the bedroom, but within her heart. A brilliant, blinding light and a understanding. She's searched her feelings for the answers to her life's greatest questions. The how's and the why's and the when and the who and all of those things led her to the love she felt every morning she woke up next to Xander. Buffy calmly walked back over to the dresser and placed the receipt back inside under some other papers. She walked back over to the bed and climbed on, now hugging her pillow to her chest. Someone wants to marry her. To share forever with him, and she's charmed to no end by that.

Her mind was clear, her heart was sure, and her path was set. She looked up when the bedroom door opened, revealing her honey in all his teenager-frustrated glory. "Did they get to the hair pulling part or did you stop them at the name calling?" She watched him cross the room in three long strides and hop his large body on the bed so hard she practically bounced in the air. She laughing by the time his arms wrapped around her, pulling her back to his chest as he sighed affectionately. "You could have warned me before you dive-bombed the bed."

"Yeah, but what fun would that have been. And you got a seconds worth of hang time, sexy." He pressed his lips to the side of her cheek, his arms snug around her waist. She's still smiling which was a very good sign. His day might have sucked and being slimed certainly wasn't of the good, but this was everything he needed as far as reason to make it through every day. Buffy's love. "Mya has a date with Chad on Friday."

Buffy glanced surprisingly over her shoulder. "Do you mean Cassandra's Chad?"

"One in the same."

"He's playing them both?"

"It appears so, although they don't see it that way. They think the other girl is trying to muscle in on her turf. Neither of them blame Chad for dating them both."

"Why do I get the feeling both of them will wind up pregnant in New York on the 'Maury' show doing a DNA test next year?"

"Let's hope I got through to them first."

"What did you say?" She shifted sideways in his arms, her hand resting over his heart as she leaned into him.

"I told them that Chad is laughing behind both their backs and that they need to leave him because obviously he has lied to both of them."

"What did they say?"

"It appears," Xander groaned, "They are both in love with Chad and think the other is lying."

"I think it's time to send in our secret weapon."

"You don't mean..."

"Oh, I do. It's time Chad met Faith." Xander leaned over her and brushed his lips on hers, kissing her softly. "At least Dawn sees through him."

"Yeah, Willow too."

"Honey, Willow's gay."

"Yeah, but Chad has a 2005 Mustang. Never underestimate a woman's reaction to a hot car."

"Since you had no such automobile in high school however did you manage to charm Cordy?"

"That old cliché about opposites attracting. I think that best sums it up. And she did dump me, you know."

"After she caught you about to sex up Wills and she fell and almost died."

"Okay, the bringing up of my less than admirable relationship memories is not conclusive to me getting a good nights sleep." Buffy slipped her arms around his neck and surprised him with a very long, very hot kiss that told him good times were definitely ahead. Alas, his pyschic abilities weren't so good seeing as how she broke the kiss, then crawled off the bed and was now pacing back and forth in front of it. "Please don't tell me you want to play charades."

She ignored that, continuing her brisk pace back and forth. She only hoped she'd get this right. "Xander, I want to talk you."

A man never, ever wanted to hear a woman say that because having a penis meant you're paranoid to begin with. His heart suddenly caught in his throat as he rambled off possible queries. "Are you pregnant, or leaving me, or pregnant, or you think I'm cheating on you or are you pregnant or..."

"Geez, Xander. I'm not pregnant or leaving you and I would never cheat on you," Buffy declared in a exasperated tone of voice, hands on her slim hips as she stared him down. "Just relax, okay. This is a good thing. A very, very, very good thing." She saw his eyes widen and his mouth open partially. She suddenly wanted to hit him. "No, not your birthday three-way with Faith. That will never happen. We've discussed this already."

He lowered his head. "I know, I know."

His sad little boy expression never ceased to win her over. "Xander, I'm done baking."

"That's cool by me. We got a bakery right down the street that makes great apple pies. Plus, and honey please don't take this the wrong way. I never liked your baking all that much anyway. I like baking that includes actual taste. But I do love you," he added at the end.

Oh crap, five minutes into this and Buffy felt she was already losing her train of thought. And his. "This has nothing to do with pies or pastries, alright. This is about me and my life and a representation of where I am right now in my life." She watched him sit up and take things a bit more seriously. Good. That was a start. "This isn't a bad thing, I promise," she began. "I just want you to know that I am done baking. I am ready to be frosted and put on the shelf for sale. Just slap a price tag on me." There. She said it and was very proud of herself.

'What the fuck' was the first thought that ran through Xander's mind, followed by making sure their bedroom window wasn't open and she hadn't gotten royally second-hand high. He sat upright, nodding as seriously as he could, all the while going over what she had said and how despite his outward expression of keen interest and caring, he didn't have a clue what she meant. "I like the way that sounds." A term he read in Maxim Magazine once when it was polled ten thousand men what was the best, most appropriate and safe thing a man could say to any woman when he had no clue what she was talking about. He loved Buffy with all his heart, but as with most women, sometimes she said things that flew right over his head. "I really like the way that sounds."

Buffy exhaled a sigh of pleasant relief, smiling. "You do?"

"Yes, absolutely." If he slipped off to the bathroom he could probably call Angel from his cell phone and see if he ever understood the baking speech Buffy gave him years ago. The last time they spoke he hadn't, but maybe he had greater insight since Cordy came back from the dead again. What exactly was baking supposed to mean? "So... uhm... you seem pleased to be done with all the baking and such."

"Oh, I am," Buffy nodded as she rejoined him on the bed, cuddling up to his side. "I've baked and baked and baked and in a lot of ways I think I stayed in the oven far too long and maybe a little overcooked. But now I'm all done and ready to be eaten."

For some strange reason he just doesn't think she means that in a sexual way. But now to be outdone with the whole maturity angle, Xander quickly added, "I'm done frying."

'What the fuck' Buffy suddenly thought, trying to wrap her mind around that one. Frying? When did he start frying? Was he gay? No, of course not. He made love far to good to be gay. "Uhm, okay."

Xander desperately wanted to sound smart and mature to her. "Yeah, see I was flame boiled and grilled and microwaved for a long time, but when I started frying I just... well, I knew I couldn't fry forever, so now I am done frying. You can take me off the skillet and put me on a plate with some mashed potatoes and some Cole slaw."

He doesn't smoke crack and she knows that for a fact. She'd laugh at how that rhymed in her mind if it made a damn bit of sense. Nonetheless, she nodded and offered, "You're the greatest." Cosmo's number one line to say to a man when a woman had no clue what in the world he was talking about. And it worked damn well

Obviously, he had said everything just right. Buffy settled into his arms peacefully, hugging onto him. They cuddled in the center of the bed and all was right with the world. Xander had his girl, whom he loved more every day, and at the end of this long tiresome day that was all he needed. "I want to petition for 36 hour a day days."

"Why is that?"

"Because there's never enough time to do all the things you want or need to do. And you can never get enough sleep."

"So there are things you want to do and don't have enough time for?"

"All the time," he answered. "I'm overworked and I never seem to get enough time with you. We barely get a few hours all week long until Sunday. These six day a week work runs have been dragging me down, but thankfully the Hancock project is finished."

"I know how you feel. When I get home I just want food and sleep. Maybe some sex here and there."

"Or there and here."

"Wherever," she chuckled in his arms. "I love you."

Said out of the blue and always graciously accepted. "I love you too, sweetheart."

"Will you love me next year?"

"Of course."

"And five years from now?"

"Have you gained weight?"

"Yes."

"Yeah, I'll still love you. There'll just be more to love."

"And how about 15 years from now?"

"Fifty years from now when we are old and gray and I have to push your wheelchair through the cemetery while our grandkids fly around on hover boards Slaying vampires, I will still love you. My loving of you is pretty eternal." Women are interesting to him. Buffy most of all. "What's with you tonight?"

Her hand settled over his chest, her head on his shoulder. "I think I'm just making sure we both know where we stand." Mustering up all her courage, Buffy lifted her head to look into his eyes. "I don't want to just date you forever. I do want more... someday," her voice softened at the end. "I guess I just wanted you to know that. And to feel confident in that."

He saw in her eyes the answers to his hearts greatest questions. He didn't know why now, or why tonight. She's never been predictable. He'd never change that about her. Buffy was giving him a definitive sign that he understood without fail. Xander sat up and was about to... "WHAT THE HELL!"

The bed disappeared.

Buffy landed with a thump on his body, but Xander's larger one smacked hard into the floor. Both sat up immediately, with Xander grabbing his backside, howling in pain.

"My butts on fire!

A quick knock came at the door. "Uhm, guys, I hope what Xander just yelled had to do with the beds disappearing, Willow said, "And now some lewd sexual stuff. Anyway, one of the girls was doing a spell and it went crazy wrong and all the beds disappeared and... OH GOD FAITH, NO! DAWN TRIP HER OR SOMETHING! RUN BELLA RUN!"

Buffy laughed at the whole scene and the night and just everything in general. She laughed because her life was funny even more than it was tragic and maybe she didn't see that until she was twenty-five years old, but she sees it now. And suddenly, she knows exactly what needs to be done. Watching her honey rub his now sore butt, she bent over and whispered an idea in his ear. A familiar one.

"That's a crazy idea at this time of night."

"I'm a crazy kind of gal."

Insane though her suggestion was, the possibilities for doing what he's wanted to do for months now couldn't be passed up. "Grab the Post-It's."

**The Next Morning 8:20 AM**

Having spent the night sleeping on the couch pillows from downstairs, Faith woke up suddenly out of a dream and rolled off them and onto the hard floor in her bedroom. "Godamnit!" she swore as the pain in her elbow lanced hot. She rubbed the offending bruise, her face already broken into a scowl.

What a way start her day.

Drowsy, peering through blurred vision, Faith sat up. She stared at the spot where her Queen-sized bed once was. She shook her head, yet again wondering why she ever listened to Buffy when the elder Slayer offered her free room and board as well as a nice and steady Watchers Council paycheck to relocate to Cleveland and help her train the S.I.T's and keep watch over the new Hellmouth. She had thought that her ability to refrain from violence while in prison was a testament to how far she'd come as a person, but oh no. This eleven person household she lived in, with it's always occupied three bathrooms, constant fighting over everything, and the stupid teenage boys trying to sneak in and out at all hours of the night have tested her patience to it's limits.

Last night was almost the straw that broke the camels back. Or Bella's back. Like Buffy, she's pulled forty-eight hour work weeks for the last couple of months and it's driving her nuts. She required such simple things after having dealt with prison a few years ago years. She asked that no one drink her beer. That no one ever go in her room without her permission. She asked that no one eat any of her Home Run Inn frozen pizzas. That no one ever go anywhere near her motorcycle. That no one ever make fun of the NC-17 trashy romance novels that arrived at the house in Selina Cortez's name, of which she always signed for, ever be discussed.

EVER!

A quick glance at herself on the mirror on her dresser revealed a less than her usual hot self. Her long dark hair stuck up on one side of her head and slumped flat on the other. She had a terrible nights sleep and suddenly remembered that she won't be able to take a shower until noon. Also... oh no... she hadn't thought of that... oh crap, could things get any worse.

Faith raced from her room and down the hall towards the nearest bathroom. She found Willow standing in the hall looking quite perturbed. The witch appeared every bit as disheveled as she did. "Wills, please tell me we can at least flush the toilets?"

"I'm afraid not. Emphasis on the word afraid." Willow calmly shut the bathroom door. This was bad. Real bad. "It seems that unless we use the facilities at the Burger King down the on Maine Street, we'd better avoid all liquids until noon."

"You have got to be kidding me?"

"I wish I was."

"WHY WON'T THE TOILET FLUSH!" came shouted from down the hall.

Willow and Faith knew the day was going to be a long one. A very long one indeed. As they walked down the hall, knocking on the S.I.T's doors to wake them up, they stopped at the next bathroom door. "Uhm, Mya. Did you... you know, already?"

"Yeah," came softly through the door.

"Dammit, girl. You knew the water was shut off last night," Faith argued. "What were you thinking?"

"I thought that was only for the faucets and the showers."

Faith made the hand gesture of choking someone, but Willow walked her away to avoid the violence. "Just close the lid and put a sign on the door so no one walks in, alright."

"Okay."

Faith grumbled all the way downstairs, heading towards the kitchen. She was in serious need of food when she found Dawn, Monique and Cassandra staring at something out of her line of vision. "Morning, bitches."

"Morning, teach," the two S.I.T's said at the same time, using Faith's pet name among the girls.

"Sup, D?" Faith looked ahead at the refrigerator, with Willow on her right side. "What the hell?"

"My thoughts exactly," Dawn said. On the refrigerator's freezer door was a folded up sheet of notepad paper. Below it on the door itself were eight little Post-It notes. "We just got here and saw them. I knocked on Buffy and Xander's door, but no one answered."

"You know how they like their early morning bang-bang."

"Faith, references to my sisters sex life freak me out." Faith shrugged next to her.

Willow stepped forward and grabbed the note stuck to the freezer door by a cow magnet. "This is Buffy's handwriting." She turned around, facing the small group that gathered and began reading. "When you all wake up and read this letter Xander and I will be on the road leaving Cleveland as fast as the State of Ohio driving laws allow. We are overworked, stressed out, tired of fighting over the bathrooms, cereal, who ate the Pizza Rolls, who's turn it is to control the living room TV, and all things concerning loud music late at night. We slept on the floor last night after we took a bath in a Sesame Street kiddy pool outside in the backyard as our elderly neighbors smoked pot around us. If we don't get some space between us and you guys we just might go crazy. And crazy doesn't look good on me or my honey. So here's the deal. We have left for a six day road trip that will give us time to enjoy ourselves, relax, and not kill any of you in your sleep. We have our cell phones with us, but do not, and I repeat, do not call us unless one of the following things have happened. One, an apocalypse is coming and you have tried to stop it yourselves AT LEAST THREE TIMES and Giles hasn't arrived yet to help you. Two, someone died and you have a body as proof. Missing does not count. Three, one of you wins the lottery. If none of those three things happen then we do not in any way, shape, or form want to hear from you. We have left a number of Post-It notes as gentle reminders of things to do and not do in our absence. Xander wrote the Post-It's, so any misspellings are his as I am writing this letter, which he has not seen. Anyhoo, stay safe, watch each others backs, and for goodness sake if a apocalypse is happening please, please, please try to stop it yourselves before calling us. See ya in seven days." Willow stared at the letter, especially the last part. "Buffy signed it, the Harris's."

Dawn's smile came slowly but grew until it lit up her whole face. She's been sworn to secrecy ever since the day Xander asked her to help him pick out Buffy's engagement ring. It looks like one way or another Buffy's coming home with it on her finger. "Let's read the Post-It's," she offered to pull their thoughts away. Faith brushed in front of her first, with everyone looking over her shoulder.

'Dear Faith. Don't beat up anymore of your dates.'

"Hey, I only did that twice."

'Dear Dawn. Don't drive your car until the gas meter reads empty.'

Dawn pouted. "Xander picked me up three times and he's never let me forget it. My Neon can get another twenty miles on E. I know it can. It says so in the manual."

'Dear Willow. I know it was you that ate the rest of my Cocoa Pebbles last Saturday, and then lied and said it was Dawn. But I still love you.'

"He wrote that so small... and he still loves me." Willow seemed amused.

"Cereal Liar!" Dawn growled at Willow. "I knew it was you who snitched and said it was me. You're a lying snitch!"

"MEXICAN NIGHT!" Willow threw in her face, to which everyone around them groaned and looked away.

"I'll never live it down," Dawn whined to herself.

'Dear S.I.T's. Condoms prevent unwanted pregnancies.'

'Dear S.I.T's: Missing curfews will be enforced by sleeping in the backyard.'

'Dear S.I.T's: Ronald Fordman is not ever allowed in this house, EVER!'

The legend of Ronald Fordman made all of them shudder, never to be spoken of again.

'Dear Faith: The habits of our neighbors are not habits in our home.'

"That jerk," Faith laughed to herself. "I only toked one up with the Sayers that one time. They said it would help me with my eye sight."

"Sure they did, Faith," Willow teased.

'Dear Selina Cortez: I enjoy reading your trashy smut books when you aren't home.'

"I knew it was either the X-Man or Dawn," Faith nodded.

Having heard her fill, Bella stood behind the group, listening to everyone's comments. "Uhm, gals. Since Xander is gone, who's gonna do the food shopping around here?"

Faith glared at her. "Why don't you do a spell and make some food appear rather than making beds disappear."

"That was a accident."

"I want my bed back."

"Why. It's not like you're getting any action anyway."

Stunned silence...

Then running...

"MYA, TRIP HER! FAITH STOP, PLEASE! RUN, BELLA, RUN!"

* * *

**The Last Stop Off Interstate 75, Exit 189 Monday, July 29, 2006 6:45 PM**

Cars versus airplanes? That was the question.

Buffy knew that airplanes were the faster, easier way to travel. But Xander had always told her there's something to be said for the good old-fashioned road trip. Packing your bags at a moment's notice and hopping in the car with the windows down, radio blaring and no particular destination in mind. That feeling of freedom was supposed to be second to none, and if the first day of their road trip was anything to judge it by then she agreed wholeheartedly.

She even welcomed the sweltering heat because with it came the great outdoors.

The Last Stop was your typical run-of-the-mill convenience store/gas station hybrid. The two working gas pumps were the odd numbered ones as the evens were so old and rusted that had to have been out of order for years. Lottery tickets, cigarettes, newspapers, drinks, Fix-A-Flats, motor oil, and everything else expected could be found inside the small blue and white store. All in all it was perfect for the highway traveler, and best of all, it had two partially well-kept bathrooms.

Of all the cultural, religious, and financial differences people in the world had today, one thing held them all together. Everyone had to pee at some point in time.

Leaning against the passenger side of her boyfriend's gray 2004 Jeep Grand Cherokee, Buffy sipped her can of Iced Tea while waiting for him to return. They stopped for gas, water, snacks, and a couple of magazines after having had a blast on the open road all day long. They blazed outta town pass the Ohio River with the radio jacked up loud and not a care in the world, all the while stealing kisses at stop lights that angered people behind them. They plotted their course on the fly and have gotten lost twice already before finally finding their way. Disney World in Orlando, Florida was their destination of choice. They chose the land of Mickey Mouse because it was the exact opposite of everything they had seen and experienced the past three years. Work, responsibilities, the Hellmouth, and a house full of loved ones, albeit nutcases, were behind them.

Buffy honestly couldn't recall the last time she ever had as much fun as she's had already, and they're barely inside of Kentucky. They had laughed a lot today, she thought, remembering. The silliness of sneaking out of the house at 5:00 AM this early in the morning, writing their goodbye letter and posting the Post-It's, coupled with the odd looks and behind the back whispering they received at the closest car wash where they cleaned up the interior of Xander's car after last nights slime fest only strengthened their resolve to have the time of their lives on this trip.

Lifting her arms lazily above her head, Buffy laced her fingers together, stretching. A trucker honked his horn in appreciation. He even tipped his hat as he turned his eighteen-wheeler back onto the highway. The gentle ego-boost didn't hurt one bit. Buffy took it in stride. She's dressed in faded blue jeans and a thin black short-sleeved tee shirt with the word 'Princess' on the front. Xander said she looked extremely sexy wearing that black ladies cowboy hat he bought her two weeks ago at the mall. She didn't think much of it, and was never a hat wearing sort of person, but it drove her honey wild and that night she wore it and nothing else.

They had made love all night long until it fell off her head. Wearing it today made her feel sensuous.

Smiling to herself, Buffy sighed as the excitement of the next week swept over her. Not only was she going to spend some serious quality time with the man she loved while enjoying a vastly overdue vacation on the open road, but she was going to get engaged. That last part simply blew her mind as well as left her lightheaded and giddy. The Poster-Girl for strange, weirdly epic and tragic relationships now found herself in a truly loving, sincere, actually going somewhere relationship. For ten years Xander's been her friend. For more than half of that he's been her best friend. And with the exception of one moment in a funeral home she had never looked at him that certain way before. It certainly had nothing to do with her belief in his courage or loyalty. Those were undeniable. But seeing him as a man meant seeing him as a potential man for her and that just never came up.

She couldn't fake feelings that she didn't have for him at that time. She loved him. Always had. But it just wasn't that romantic kind of love, or that chemistry that physically drew you to another person.

Then something changed when they moved overseas. Maybe it was the change in scenery, or that they were all working for the Watchers Council in a far more serious capacity that forced all of them to grow up faster and take on more responsibilities than they ever had before. There were meetings and training and introductions to all the new people who were recruited to work for the Council or had survived the First's attacks. Their lifestyle in Sunnydale resembled something so simplistic compared to their new lives in London.

Xander had always been nice looking to her. And then good looking as time passed. And now even hot. But his looks didn't make her fall in love. His dark side, or mysterious nature, or dangerous attraction weren't what changed within her in how she saw him. She had grown past that at long last. It was as if she looked up one day and finally saw the twenty-four year old man and not the sixteen year old boy. The man who had finally learned how to dress to magnify his good looks and build. The way he grew into a humble confidence in how he carried himself and acted in public, while never losing that zany side of him in private that always made her laugh. The ways he romanced and treated her were foreign to her previous suitors behavior to say the least. Angel never cooked her dinner. Neither did Riley. Spike just didn't know how and the Immortal only knew how to order food in Italian. So much for eternal life.

Xander learned how she loved to be kissed and mastered the technique. He accepted how she craved her space at times, while appreciating his need to break through her protective emotional shell and force his way in. He waited patiently for her to place her trust him with her heart, and he never, not even once, took a choice away from her. In short, he did everything new, which turned out to be everything right, and she fell in love with that twenty-four year old man not for the man he wasn't, but for the man he grew into.

And now, as she's waiting for him outside this gas station she's shocked by how badly she wants to be married to him.

Buffy Summers had boyfriends and lovers before. She's tasted the wilder side of life, and the darker aspects of her own boundaries. She discovered herself in London. She finally figured out what made her happy and what didn't. What inspired her and what held her back. She didn't just want to move forward with her life. She actually did. And with no man at that time either. She experienced what Xander had for years already. A complete independence. She had her own apartment separate from Dawn. She made her own money and paid all her bills herself. She had no help save what she did for herself and even if her job wasn't normal, her real life was. Two years flew by as a greater appreciation for Xander evolved into something so much more. And now she's days away from having him ask her to marry him.

Angel, Riley, Spike, and the Immortal... Jesus, three of her former beaus didn't even have real names. And the one who did ditched her for a demon infested jungle. Two didn't have pulses, and one didn't need the one he had.

No matter, though. Things worked out just fine.

Shaded from the sun by her cowboy hat, Buffy lifted her head when she saw Xander exiting the gas station. The shades she picked out for him looked great, and coupled with his Los Angeles Dodgers Baseball jersey, worn jeans, boots, and that stubble she refused to let him shave this morning, he a rugged look going. Dear God, she thought breathlessly, the man was almost criminally sexy. Wherever did he develop that great walk?

There was something about Buffy when she wore that cowboy hat that flipped his every switch. Xander raked his hand through his short dark hair and sighed. She's so beautiful sometimes it hurt to look at her. Her lips were soft and parted, lovely. Her eyes were lit with a secret amusement. "I hope you haven't been out here romancing truckers," he teased upon reaching her. He tossed the bag he was holding in the backseat, then pressed against her. "Cause that guy who honked his horn at you was bigger than me and if you want me to defend your honor then you need to get hit on my a less menacing looking, shorter guy. Think Oz in height and weight." He paused, enjoying her gorgeous smile. "Better yet, let him be small like that little guy from the Austin Powers movies. I could take him in a fight. And I'd look gopod doing it."

Buffy simply wrapped her arms around his neck, pulled him down and kissed him to her hearts content for the longest time, even until one of her legs curled around the back of his. Despite the cool sensation from the Iced Tea can he felt against his neck, Xander's tight hold around her slim waist sent waves of heat throughout their bodies. Crushed together, their lips merged hungrily and passionate, never mind being outside or anything else. And when Buffy finally allowed his tongue to slip from her mouth she was practically off her feet, with her back pressed into the car door and her weight supported by Xander's strong arms.

"Jeez, Buff. We're you trying to get pregnant through that kiss?" he joked, pecking her soft lips one last time.

"Of course not. We should wait at least another year or two before we go there. When we have our own home and we're far away from the Hellmouth and stuff." Though the moment was marked by romantic levity, her voice remained calm and assured. She smiled a little, but never allowed it to bloom so that he could take it as a joke. She wanted him to know she wasn't joking at all. He was the one, she thought with absolute certainty. "What are you thinking?"

"That I love you more than I have ever loved anyone in my entire life. And that candy bars cost entirely too much these days," he smiled, lowering her back to both feet again, his arms loose around her. "I bought a Snicker and it was eighty cents. I just about had a seizure."

Buffy looked up, feeling as though she'd received a precious gift when he fell in love with her. There's a light within his eyes that spoke of a truly good person. Her husband... "And still you bought that eighty cent Snicker, didn't you?"

"Well, yeah."

"And a Whatchamacallit?"

"You know I love those."

"And some chocolate raisins?"

"They keep me regular."

Laughing, Buffy framed his face and gave him another kiss, then swatted his behind. "Let's hit the road, honey." She gently shoved him away, then watched as he rounded the car. She climbed back in and shut the door. She grabbed the map from the backseat while Xander got back in, strapped on his seatbelt and started the engine. "Did you ask the attendant if we were right about the turnoff into Bellefonte, Kentucky? I don't want to miss out on seeing a real wax museum."

Just as Xander was about to pull out of the gas station, in the rear view mirror he saw a old man walking out of the gas station waving at him. The person behind the counter looked around eighteen years old and when he gave him his change, he might have been a dollar short. No matter, Xander thought. He's worked jobs like those before and making a fuss over a dollar just wasn't worth the effort. The old man had to be the manager, who was probably in the back. "The guy at the counter said he was lost coming to work today, which was his first day. We'll wing it honey. I'm pretty sure we're right since we both have good eye sight from all the second hand pot we've inhaled in the last year." Buffy laughed as they sped off, back onto the highway.

Sixty-nine year old Mr. Graham Saunders held his hand to his fast beating heart, having ran from the back area of the gas station to the front as soon as Johnny, his new employee asked him about some directions to a place called Bellefonte, Kentucky. Having owned and operated this gas station for the last thirty seven years, Mr. Saunders knew how to get anywhere from anywhere as well as knew the places that needed to be avoided like the plague. He yelled as loud as he could and waved his arms about, but the driver of the car never stopped. Probably couldn't hear him either. For if he did he would have heard him yelling...

"STAY AWAY FROM BELLEFONTE! THE ZOMBIES WILL KILL YOU ALL! IT'S A PLACE OF EVIL! BEWARE OF THE ZOMBIES! THE DEAD WALK THE STREETS IN BELLEFONTE!"

**The End of Chapter 1 **

**Chapter 2 "The Dead Zone"**


	2. The Dead Zone

**Title: "The Amazingly Accurate and True Journal of a Crazy Summer Road Trip"  
Volume 2: The Dead Zone (2/6)  
Written by: Shawn**

**Summary: 18 hours into their road trip Buffy and Xander encounter a little problem in Bellefonte, Kentucky.**

**Rated: R for adult language, naughty humor, and BtVS-styled violence.  
Category: Romance/Humor/Action-Adventure Ship: BX always!**

**Timeline/Spoilers: Post the BtVS finale "Chosen." In 2003 the Scoobies traveled with Giles and Robin to England to help rebuild the Watchers Council. That lasted for two years until April of 2005 when Buffy, Xander, Willow, Dawn, Faith, and six S.I.T's were sent to Cleveland in May of 2005 to officially keep a day to day watch over the Hellmouth there. BX began dating in 2005 just before they left England. All else is explained within.**

**Timeline/Spoilers Notes: I have not and never will write a story with a one-eyed Xander because it made no sense whatsoever, IMHO, for him to lose the eye. It felt like they weren't using him for anything and he wasn't important to the plot, so lets just take something from him. rolls eyes Xander has both of his eyes here.**

**Disclaimer: I own Zippo. Joss and Mutant Enemy own it all.**

**My personal archive: http/groups. Notes 1: No angst, sadness, or heavy drama here. Just a crazy, action packed, romantic story about two people and a road trip that will change their lives forever. Hope you enjoy it. Fun times are ahead.**

**Authors Notes 2: The Scoobies and S.I.T's live in a seven bedroom, three bathroom home.**

* * *

**The man who goes alone can start today, but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready. -Henry David Thoreau**

**Stop worrying about the potholes in the road and enjoy the journey. -Babs Hoffman**

**The world is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page. -Augustine (354-430)**

**I am one of those who never knows the direction of my journey until I have almost arrived. -Anna Louise Strong**

**It is good to have an end to journey towards, but it is the journey that matters in the end. -Ursula K. LeGuin**

* * *

Some nights were simply magical.

With her small hand clasped firmly in his, Xander led Buffy down a stone path that curled into the park just ahead. After enjoying a very romantic dinner at Chivago's, they enjoyed a romantic horse drawn carriage ride around the nearby Lyons Park, and now strolled through the moonlit park at their leisure.

A truly beautiful evening thus far.

They hadn't spoken since exiting the carriage, choosing the quiet route instead. Tonight's special, and they both know it. Accept it as such, and so things are progressing slowly. A set pace to an inevitable conclusion. They walked hand in hand past the immaculately sculpted stone fountains, a vibrant rose garden, and the many delightful secluded nooks where strollers enjoyed a little privacy.

Xander appreciated the warm weather a great deal, but not nearly as much as the woman he loved.

She's a dream wrapped in silk.

From the moment he picked her up to now, Xander could hardly keep his eyes off of Buffy. She wore that slinky black dress like a second skin, tantalizing him throughout dinner. Her look tonight was a perfect blend of class meets lust. She charmed every man that looked her way this evening, but none more then the man that loved her with all his heart.

Envious stares came their way from appreciating older couples enjoying the evening as well. Buffy saw them, smiling the whole while. She knows they make a very good-looking couple. Even more so tonight when they're dressed up. Xander called their date a 'very special occasion.' Pizza and a movie just wouldn't do. So a trip to the hair saloon and to the mall for a new dress was undertaken earlier. Her boyfriend looked so handsome in his dark blue button down shirt and slacks.

Buffy's a little misty-eyed as they transversed along a path leading to a large artificial lake where rowing boats could be hired. She's quirky and tough and sometimes a bit more withdrawn than she wished she were, but she's definitely not stupid. She knows her Xander, and then she knows the difference between him and tonight's Xander. Also hers, but so much more grown up and serious. Flowers were given to her the moment he saw her. Beautiful, expensive flowers. He wore that antique silver watch Willow bought him for his birthday two years ago. The one he's only worn on special occasions, and only three times since he received it. His jokes over dinner carried with them a flair that was not usual for him. They lacked his trademark silliness, choosing to amuse her with his humorous inner thoughts of work and their friends. He sat up straight. He ate his food as close to normal as he was capable of. A far cry from his familiar Neanderthal-like approach. It was just different. He was different, and she noticed. The way he gazed at her lovingly all night long. Less with lust than... dare she admit it, awe. She blushed under his tender affections more times than she could count.

The hardened Slayer of legend wasn't reduced, yet evolved into twenty-five year old woman who had a feeling everything in her life was about to change. Something truly profound was on the horizon. Something that equally terrified and thrilled her.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

Buffy lifted a curious brow. "My thoughts are only worth a penny?"

"After springing for that 'last in the rainforest before extinction' flower bouquet and that half-a-years salary dinner... among other purchases," he added mysteriously enough, "You'd be lucky if I could afford a penny for your thoughts. I might have to put them on layaway for some lent. Then again, maybe you should just lend them to me instead."

Ah, there's her Xander. Over the top as usual. And so sweet. "I'll tell if you do."

"Those are tough terms."

"You consider meeting me halfway tough terms?"

"I'm a guy, Buff."

"You're going to do it, and that's final."

"You're so sexy when you're bossy."

He could always make her smile. She gently squeezed his hand as they reached the lake, gazing out over the moonlight reflecting the surface of the water. Buffy inhaled the brisk night air and felt invigorated. "I'm thinking that while I have had a great time tonight, it's really not us. We're pretty casual and stuff. Takeout and a movie aren't boring to us. We usually prefer it," she said, stealing a glance his way. He looked so deep in thought. And nervous. "So I'm wondering, why go all out for the Harlequin romance kinda date when we do just as well on the couch with a bottle of wine and a DVD?"

Offering her a slightly shaky laugh, Xander guided them to a park bench. He sat down, and then pulled her into his lap and kissed her deeply before she could say a word. They fell into that age-old rhythm of lips and tongue, not caring in the least that they were out in public. Her arms slipped around his neck, her fingers caressing the soft hairs on the back of his head. This was a stolen moment in time and it was beautiful.

"What was all that for?" Buffy sighed when he stroked the side of her face with the back of his hand. She leaned into his touch.

Xander took a long, deep breath. He seemed to be psyching himself up for something. "A little while ago I was thinking about how I've known you for nine years." Sighing, Buffy nodded in his arms, her hand absently stroking his forearm. "That's a long time, you know."

"Almost a decade. Next year it will be."

"I've loved you all nine of those years," he confessed to her. His direct and serious expression was focused solely on her "I've been madly in love with you for the past year and some change."

"Me too. All of that, I mean. The loving you and stuff, " Buffy stumbled over her words as her emotions bubbled to the surface. His stares and his kisses and the things that he's said and done and the way he's treated have all been amplified in the last three months. She's tried to ignore it. Push it away. Think of it as no more than him being romantic and sweet. He knows how to treat a woman well. But it's more than that. Far, far more than that. He's emotionally exposed himself in every way. He's been trying to make a point to her. One no man has attempted to make before. "You're still here."

Her whimsical phrase caused him to smile. "You sound surprised."

"Men haven't exactly proven themselves to me over the years."

"Have I?"

"Always." That pleased him and was the point, after all. "Now tell me what's on your mind?"

Taking her hands in his, he held them on her lap, and took his own dear time before speaking again. "I've been wrong about a lot of things in my life, honey," he began, stroking her palm. "I'm so far from perfect and I've made a ton of mistakes and I've hurt people that I cared about. I guess what I'm getting at is that I'm a very, very human kind of person."

"As opposed to a mutant or alien?" she teased, trying to follow his lead. He did smile.

"I'm not saying this right, Buff. I'm trying and all, but..."

"Just be yourself."

"Myself isn't good enough for what I have to ask you tonight. I have to be better than I've ever been."

Suddenly, everything became all to clear. Buffy exhaled a breath she didn't even know she was holding. She's scared and she wants to run and hide. She also wants to hear him out and accept that she's not a teenager anymore and that things aren't' the way they used to be and that he's not the man she befriended the day she met him, but the man she now so deeply loves. "Just go for it," she said even as her heart pounded in her chest and the butterflies flew in her stomach.

"I love you."

The first tear that fell signaled more and she could do little to hold back the tide because she knew exactly what he was about to do. He gently set her on the bench, then moved before her, and down onto one knee. Her hand quickly covered her mouth as the tears fell, one after the other. This moment wasn't tragic or sexual or anything that marked any other intimate moment in her life. This was unique. This was Xander. This was perfect.

"Buffy, I have to ask you a very important question." Xander's sweating and he knows he's sweating and he's so happy he used her deodorant before they left because it's strong enough for a man but made for a woman. Why that suddenly went through his mind at this time, he'd never know. "If you say yes I'll be the happiest guy on the planet. If you say no I just might jump off the nearest cliff, or sky dive with no parachute, or go swimming with some sharks. Maybe wrestle some grizzly bears at a circus, or..."

"Enough," Buffy declared as she wiped away a few more tears. "Just ask so we can celebrate."

"Celebrate?" Xander's eyes widened with such unbridled joy he thought his heart might burst out of his chest.

"Ask me?"

"Buffy?"

"Yes." Testing out that word felt of so good. A dress rehearsal for what was to come a second later.

"Do you know where you're going?"

Her smile slowly began to falter. "Huh?"

"I said do you know where you're going?"

"Wha... Xander, I thought..."

**End of dream sequence**

**US-60 WEST Xander's gray 2004 Jeep Grand Cherokee Monday, July 29, 2006 11:30 PM**

Her hands were clutching onto something... something solid. She was sitting up right, but not on a park bench. There was music playing. Kelly Clarkson maybe? And she definitely wasn't outside.

Coming around slowly, Buffy yawned a couple of times in succession, blinking her eyes until at last they opened and... and...

'OH HOLY CRAP!' Buffy mentally screamed to herself as she gripped the wheel so tight she nearly tore it from the steering column. Up ahead she saw nothing but the road stretching endlessly before her. She swallowed hard a few times, blinking away the last of her sleepiness as reality set in. Okay, at least they were alive.

Buffy's eyes opened as wide as they ever had before. Reality hit her like a ton of bricks. She's behind the wheel of Xander's car, and all of a sudden she remembered everything. Two hours ago she noticed he was getting tired after having driven several hours straight already, and offered to take over the driving for the rest of the way to the motel in Bellefonte. He tried his best to politely pretend he wasn't tired, and then flat out told her that he feared her driving skills and ability to navigate the open road. Somewhat insulted, Buffy defended her sketchy driving record, reminding him of having been in only two accidents thus far this year, and five in the previous three. She pouted, flirted, and promised naughty goodness when they reached the hotel if he would let her take over for a while. Begrudgingly, Xander admitted he was tired and could use some shuteye. After checking the map, he figured they were not all that far from Bellefonte, so he relented, pulled over, and gave Buffy her way.

And then promptly fell asleep ten minutes later.

'Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! I am so screwed! Okay, Buff. Calm down and think.' The Slayer recalled that one of her favorite songs came on the radio at 11:10 PM. She quickly glanced at the car's console clock and saw that it was 11:30 PM. Shockingly enough, she fell asleep behind the wheel for twenty minutes, all the while still driving. 'Damn cruise control,' she mentally muttered in her head. Sparing a slow, careful peek Xander's way, he's reclined the passenger seat back as far as it could go and was facing away from her, sleeping, snoring softly. 'Thank goodness.' Buffy exhaled a shaky breath, gripped the wheel tighter, and tried to regain her bearings. She remembers listening to the radio while looking out for their next right turn on Bob McCullough Drive. She had been sure it was coming up soon before she fell asleep and now feared she passed it altogether. She's lost and she knows it. 'Xander will never, ever let me hear the end of this. Not ever. I was doing 50 miles an hour while asleep. I could have run over a poor defenseless road animal, or driven us off the highway into a ditch, or hit a truck or Bigfoot or something. Oh well, there's only one thing to do. Wake him up, confess everything, and see if we can figure out where we... No... no, no, no. I will lie. I have to lie. Telling the truth here will only result in years upon years of teasing. A cover-up is needed. And I know just who to call to help me cover this up.'

Turning up the music a tad, Buffy slowed the car down to around twenty miles per hour, then pulled her cell phone from her purse and attached her earpiece for hands-free driving. Xander slept so deeply and she's never been more grateful for that than she was right now. Looking up at a road sign, she saw that she was five miles from Roberts Drive. She pressed number three on her cell phone and waited until a very sleepy, and slightly slurred voice picked up five rings later.

"Hello, hello."

Her best friend sounded drunk. Not a good sign. "Wills?" Buffy whispered into the small speaker piece dangling alongside her neck. "Willow, wake up. I need your help."

"Buffy-wuffy," the Wiccan chanted loudly, rolling over in bed. "Why are ya talking so quietly?"

She's giggling wildly. This was not good. Not good at all. "Listen very carefully, okay?"

"Have you been kidnapped, Buffy-wuffy? Is that why you're talking so quietly? Are you being held against your will? Are you tied to a chair?"

Patience. Buffy knew she needed patience. "Okay, you're drunk. I get that. Please just sober up for second. I need the brilliant witch, not the drunk witch."

"I'm not all that drunk, Buffy-wuffy. I just had a crappy day at work and I went to the bar with Faith and Dawn to unwind and listen to a band play some band music and then they had those super sweet grape drinks with the cute little umbrellas, and you know I can't resist drinks with little umbrellas. I even stole a few and shoved them in my purse. I'm so silly sometimes."

Willow's just laughing to herself and Buffy's about to lose her mind. "Wills, hon. Please go to your computer and hop on Map Quest. I need your help. Please, just do it." Silence... "Wills?" More silence... then snoring. Loud snoring. "This is not happening," Buffy shook her head, pressed end on the cell phone, cursed a few times under her breath, and then dialed number four. It rang six times before Dawn picked up.

"Whoever this is do you realize it's almost midnight and I have early classes tomorrow?"

"Dawn, listen to me."

"Why are you whispering? I can barely hear you. Are you some kind of pervert? Speak up."

"I need you to go on Map Quest."

"You need to see my breasts! You freaking perv! Who are you?"

"It's your sister, you idiot. It's me. Buffy. Check your Caller-ID."

"Why are you whispering like that?"

"I'm in a bit of a jam."

"Yeah, well you and Xander left all of us high and dry today, so you can get out of your own mess. I'm sleepy."

"Dawn, please. Just hop online for a second and get on Map Quest. I'm kinda lost and I need your help."

"You need your head examined. You ran off with your hottie boyfriend for a road trip and left us with the Brat Pack. You really and truly suck. In the history of the world of people who suck, you are their Queen."

"Dawn, if you don't get your bratty ass up out of bed and on your computer so help me God I am going to maim you with a ham and post your naked baby pictures on the internet."

"Do your worse, sis. You're on your own. Oh, and I'm raiding your closets tomorrow. Love you. Stay safe. Tell Xan I said hi." Dawn hung up.

Buffy considered the many medieval torture techniques she was going to perform on her sister. They'd have to wait until she got home. She only had one last person to call. One last shot. She dialed number six. It rang several times, and then Faith's answering machine came on.

"I ain't here and I don't give a damn if you call back. Bill collectors can kiss my ass. You'll get it when I get it. Do not try to inform me of your ability to lower my car insurance or tell me how your satellite digital cable is cheaper than the one I already have. I'm an over worked, stressed out cop and will beat you with a nightstick. PS, if you're hot, a good friend, or have info that might save the world leave a message at the beep."

'damn, Damn, DAMN!' Buffy pressed end so hard she almost broke her cell phone, then pressed number six again. Sometimes you gotta try Faith twice. Six rings later...

"Yo, B. What the fuck you calling me so late for? I ain't got no bail money until next my payday."

"I need your help."

"Why are you whispering? You kidnapped or something? You and Xander doing something freaky naughty?"

"No, there's nothing freaky naughty going on. I'm lost. I fell asleep while driving and now I'm lost. Xander's asleep next to me. I am trying to avoid the utter embarrassment of waking him up. I want you to hop online and go to Map Quest. Pull up US-60 WEST and then a turnoff called Roberts Drive. I need to know if that leads into Bellefonte, Kentucky. Hurry."

"You are seriously having a Blonde moment. How could you fall asleep behind the will? That only happens to senior citizens."

"I don't need a lecture from a ex-con."

"Bitch, I'll hang up on you."

"I'm sorry, alright. Please help me." Buffy heard grumbling and a few curse words, but at least Faith was getting out of bed. "I know I owe you one?"

"You owe me five and I'm counting."

"Okay," Buffy smiled, relieved that she finally found some help. She heard some key presses being typed and waited patiently. The sign that read 'One Mile to Roberts Drive' caught her attention. "Hurry, Faith."

"Alright, B. Here's the deal. You need to... sssshhhhhkkkkkssshhhkkkkk."

"What? I need to what?" Buffy pleased into the small receiver, only to notice her cell phone said low battery. She almost threw it out of the window. Her grimace was legendarily pained. Roberts Drive was coming up fast. She was flat out of ideas and resigned to her fate. Buffy took a deep breath and took the exit. She'll eat a heaping helping of crow, but she had to get directions from somebody. These exits usually led to gas stations or restaurants. Any help would be appreciated right about now.

The exit led her three miles down, surprisingly enough. She expected to see something as soon as she turned off, but instead the road curled into another road that resembled a street. She saw a gas station up ahead and a larger building just behind it.

Xander's stretched next. Sighing, she buckled down and prepared for the worse. She knows she'll never hear the end of this, but whatever. She might as well take it like a man... uh, woman. "Honey, I, uhm... I got the funniest story to tell you." She wore her brightest smile, showing lots of white teeth.

Xander blinked his eyes open, then craned his neck about. When he gazed out the window his lips curled into a smile. "I am so proud of you, sweetheart. You made it here all by yourself. Not that I doubted you could," he hesitated to say at the end.

Buffy was listening, but then again, she wasn't. For up ahead was sweet salvation, otherwise known as the 'Swifty's' End of the Road Hotel, their destination in Bellefonte, Kentucky. Apperantly US-60 WEST didn't have a turn-off for Bob McCullough Drive, but became it. Lady Luck must have been be smiling her way and somehow she found her way here all by herself. Leaning back while wearing a confident smirk, she tossed a glance Xander's way. "Told ya so."

"I know, I know," he conceded, even lifting his hands in a mock show of defeat. "I should have never doubted your amazing driving skills. You are the Ben Hur of the highway. You are the Moses of the road trip circuit. I love and adore you."

Pulling into the driveway of the roadside motel, Buffy wore a grin from ear to ear. "Thank you, sweetie."

Xander figured he would be wise to take the knowledge of knowing Buffy fell asleep while behind the wheel and her subsequent calling of all their friends to his grave. Surely he would miss out on years of teasing and joking, but at the moment his girl was beside herself with pride in having done something she felt he thought she could not do. He loved her enough to let her enjoy this moment.

"Perhaps I should drive for the rest of the trip as well."

"Honey, we'll discuss it later." She even pumped her fist when she killed the engine. That little gesture made him want to marry her so bad. And if she's not too tired tonight, he intended to ask. "I'll get our bags. You go and get us a room."

"Sounds like a plan to me."

"I love you," he said after her. She turned around, gracing him with the sweetest expression on her face.

"Always?"

"Always."

**15 minutes later**

**'Swifty's' End of the Road Hotel Tuesday, July 30, 2006 12:20 PM Bellefonte, Kentucky**

Swifty Myers looked like anything but his namesake.

"There'll be no cooking in your room, so don't try it. There's diner down the street and a convenience store that's open late. Buy your grub there."

Buffy and Xander nodded, listening to the motel's owner/manager. They had just signed in for the night. Swifty sat in an old brown leather recliner behind a desk that had obviously seen better days, with one of its legs missing. Books braced under it held the desk upright. Swifty's diminutive height for a man his age, looking to be around five foot four, wasn't complimented by the obviously over three hundred pound weight class of his body. He possessed a harsh face of hard, wrinkled lines and a nose that looked as if it had been broken and reset more than a few times. His voice seemed to glide along each exhale of air he was able to inhale, as if the words towards the end of what he said flowed in a rush. He smelled like cigarettes, and yet he wasn't smoking and there wasn't an ashtray on his desk.

"Everyone who stays here is real quiet and friendly," he smiled oddly at the end. "They keep to themselves and mind their own business. I suggest you two do the same, comprenday?"

"Gotcha," Buffy acknowledged while doing her very best not to stare at the glass eye he wore. The color of which did not match his remaining good eye. She had to nudge Xander to get him to stop staring. Swifty's outdated "Where's the Beef" T-shirt stretched mercilessly over his broad upper body, while his to-tight-for-a-man-his-size jeans left a lasting impression of ewww.

"Don't be doing any drugs either."

"Oh, you don't have to worry about that," Xander assured him. "We're drug free. We don't even drive over cracks in the street," he joked, and found no sense of humor whatsoever coming from the hairy, overweight man. Looking up on the wall, he noticed a 'Dawn of the Dead,' 'Revenge of the Living Dead,' 'Return of the Living Dead,' 'Day of the Dead,' and 'Island of the Dead' posters that hung behind his desk only underscored the all around odd feel of the motel. The bumper stick stuck on the front of his desk that read 'Brains Are For More Than Thinking' didn't set his mind at ease either.

The modest sized hotel was six floors high, with eight rooms on each floor and a rather large pool out back. The dull, withered brick exterior looked almost ready to be torn down. There were no plants or anything whatsoever that spoke of welcome landscaping, or gave off a sense of comfort. Oddly enough, business seemed very good, seeing as how nearly the entire parking lot was full and they only had two rooms left for rent. Adding to the oddness, neither Buffy nor Xander saw one light on in any of the room's windows from the outside, nor had they seen anyone except Swifty since they signed in. Not even one person strolling the lobby to get a pack of cigarettes or a pop or candy bar from any of the four vending machines. No security guards or hotel staff of any kind was around.

It was strange indeed.

"Here are your keys." Swifty handed a set to Buffy, and then Xander. The smirk he wore borderlined on downright giddy, as if he was looking forward to something. His chipped teeth, what few he had left, were an unholy sight to behold. "I hope you enjoy your stay. I'm sure everyone else here will."

With a courteous wave each, Xander grabbed their overnight bags and followed Buffy to the elevator. It opened right away. They stepped inside and the doors closed.

"That guys jeans were tighter than Faith's. He had an overabundance of junk in his truck. I tried to look away, but it was like a car wreck. I just couldn't." Buffy shook her head, grimacing from the memory. "How did he fit all of that in there?"

"He had to have help. Or a forklift. And I can't imagine he has any blood circulation left." A shudder blew through Xander's body. Swifty gave him the creeps.

"He looked pale. And where in the world did he get that 'Where's the Beef' shirt? That was so 1988."

"That's a lonely man, Buff. EBay and the internet are his late night mistresses."

"He was incredibly hairy too."

Both of them shuddered. Some things just weren't right.

Having considered this ever since they arrived in Bellefonte, Xander asked, "Honey, did you notice how quiet the whole street looked?"

"Yeah, but it is late. Maybe things close early here."

"There wasn't even another car on the road. Not even a police patrol car."

Loving him meant knowing where his mind was going long before he did. She turned her body into him, and leaned against his shoulder. "Do not go looking for Hellmouthy weirdness, okay? It's late and we're a little tired, that's all. Everything is as it should be."

Slipping his arm around his girl, Xander relaxed for her benefit. Just a half hour ago she was so bubbly, playful, and happy for having found her way here without anyone's help. He'd be damned if he said or did anything to break her good mood. Especially tonight. "I'm gonna hold you to that."

"Just hold me," she told him with such affection dancing in her eyes. A 'ping' later and the elevator doors opened. Buffy led them out and down the hall, searching for room 4-D. "End of the hall."

The Neanderthal in him loved the way her jeans were hugging her so right. "Wherever your sexy behind goes, I shall follow." She laughed ahead of him as they moved down the hallway. No lights where on under any of the doors to the other rooms. He wanted to shrug it off, but for some reason he just couldn't. Then again, Buffy's not worried and what he had planned in the next hour was far more important than any pesky worries he might have. Pushing those thoughts aside, he's at the door just when she opened it and walked inside.

"It's not the Hilton, but it's not bad," Buffy appraised upon her first steps into the room. Small, as she had expected it to be to be. But it smelled good and the sheets and bedspread on the Queen sized bed looked clean. A nightstand and a green dresser with a vanity mirror would suffice. There was a small twenty-inch TV/VCR combo in the corner. Her next stop, the bathroom. She peered inside. "Hey, it's got a tub and it looks clean."

Xander paid her no mind. Having dropped their luggage at the door after having shut it behind him, he strode over to the bed, sat at the edge, and then fell backward, sighing in relief at being able to lay down again. "I do not care how many lovers have done the deed on this mattress, or if money exchanged hands for such deeds. It's a virgin to my poor back tonight." He heard Buffy chuckle at his remark from the bathroom. "As soon as we leave that wax museum tomorrow we are high-tailing it outta this one horse town."

"I didn't see any horses," came cheerfully from the bathroom.

Her good mood was infectious. "Anyway," he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. He heard the toilet flush, and then a minute later looked up when Buffy exited, walking over to him until she stood between his legs, gazing down at him with such a lovely expression. "There's nothing like a good pee, is there?"

"Nothing in all the world." Somehow, she knew he'd say that. Her knees bumped against his thighs just to mess with him. "Are you tired?"

"Of course not. I'm ready to take on the Boston Marathon right now. Point me out a bear to wrestle. And I'm not talking about a fat, wisecracking bear with a picnic basket like Yogi. I'm talking one of those big grizzly bears that just ram their fists in rivers and snatch fish swimming by. Oh, and tell Lance Armstrong I'm ready to race tonight too." He sat up when she straddled his lap, her arms twining around his neck.

He's such a man to her sometimes. The kind that effortlessly over-exaggerates just to make those around him smile. She loved him for the man his was, and the little boy she still caught glimpses of from time to time. "So, you're ready to run the Boston Marathon, wrestle a grizzly bear, and race the seven time Tour De France champion?"

"And I'd still have the strength to give you a couple of hours of hot loving." He wiggled his eyebrows, something that never failed to make her appreciate his ability to enjoy life.

"You are so silly." Leaning in, she brought her lips down on his, merging softly as they settled into a delightful rhythm of back and forth. Xander pulled her down on top of him, his strong arms now encircling her as their kiss deepened into something just this side of hungry, but far to lazy and enjoyable to push to far, to fast.

After a long, satisfying moment, Buffy lifted her lips from his, and then laid her had down on his chest, sighing as the world fell away and they were the only two people on earth. "Wasn't I amazing in how I found this place? I didn't have to consult the map one time. I looked at it just before you fell asleep, and then I was cool. When you woke up we were here. I want some praise, darn it."

"You," he grinned before pressing a kiss to her temple, "Were magnificent."

"More please."

She didn't see him rolling his eyes, though she felt him tighten his arms around her. "I was wrong and should have never doubted your driving or destination finding abilities."

"Oh, that was good." He kissed her temple again, laying his head next to hers. There wasn't a shadow of a doubt in her mind he loved her the way she'd never been loved before. "Continue."

"Is this going to lead to sex?"

"Complimenting your girlfriend can go a long way towards reaching that goal."

"You are the sun, the moon, the stars, the trees, the waterfalls, the clouds in the sky, and everything else I can't quite think of right now."

"You just earned a hand job." He laughed against her hair, and said no more, content to cuddle with her on this motel bed. Quiet moments were to be cherished.

They were like this, often times. Silly and affectionate in private. Around friends and family they acted the way they always did, only stood or sat a little closer. After almost ten years it was too hard to change. They weren't ever prone to acts of PDA or anything so clichéd. But in private, that was another story. Both readily admitted a starvation for affection, something they truly missed. But not now. What they've built, this relationship of there's, its a beautiful thing.

"I have never been happier than when I'm with you?"

So comfortable was his embrace that Buffy had begun to doze off until his voice caught her attention. "That means the world to me."

"You mean the world to me."

"Thank you."

Perfect best described how she felt in his arms. Soft, feminine, and all his. She's a strong, smart, couragious woman with an unpredictable side only matched by her stubborn streak. He wouldn't change her for the world, and what was cool was that she didn't want to change him either. She fell in love with the 2004 version of Xander, who was only the natural progression of the teenaged one she turned down for a date years ago. He didn't do anything except grow up, as did she. And now here they are. And he's ready to do what he's wanted to do since the New Year began.

With one hand tenderly caressing her back, Xander said, "How about I run down to that convenience store and grab us a bottle of wine and some snacks? You can find us something to watch on TV, and when I get back we can relax and unwind."

Somewhat surprised, Buffy lifted her head from his chest, now gazing into his eyes. "And here I was expecting some hot love making."

"That's coming, baby. But, uhm..." He gently pushed her aside on the bed, sat up, stretched his arms out and slipped off the bed. He turned around slowly. "A little alcohol might end the evening in a most relaxed way. And some chocolate wouldn't hurt either."

Where was this coming from? "Okay."

"And when I get back," he added while he was already reaching for the door knob, "I'd like to..." he took a deep breath, "I'd like to ask you something important. Alcohol might aid my nerves in doing so."

Sitting up slowly against the headboard, this all suddenly made sense to Buffy. Xander was looking very nervous and shaky, as if he was teetering on the brink of passing out. Join the club, she thought, unable to say anything else. She nodded for a while because she had no other response. He's going to ask her tonight. Ask her to be his wife.

Tonight.

Good God almighty!

"Okay, so, I'm gonna go get the wine and snacks and I'll be back, k?"

Buffy searched for the words, but nothing came out. More nodding took place. Xander left the room and she finally exhaled the breath she'd been holding ever since she figured out what he wanted to do tonight. She wanted to take a long, hot shower and put on her sexy underwear, dance for some strange reason, and then have a nice cleansing cry... okay, maybe not the cry. That's not her. But there will be much smiling and sex afterwards.

Now all she had to do was will her body to move.

**The parking lot for Lil' Bit of Everything Convenience Store Tuesday, July 30, 2006 12:45 PM Bellefonte, Kentucky**

"You my good friend, cost me more than my first three cars combined. If I don't get a yes answer then I want my money back, plus interest and free gas for a year."

In the palm of Xander's hand sat a 1.5-carat round diamond engagement ring with a platinum cathedral setting. Nestled inside a sterling silver engagement ring box, he pondered how one of the smallest things he's ever purchased was now the most important thing he ever bought.

From behind the wheel of his car, he sat there and stared at the ring for a long moment while gathering his courage and wits about him. It was a clear night and parking lot was as empty as the streets, with not even a truck parked anywhere nearby. None of that mattered to him in the least. The decision had been made and tonight was the night.

He's going to ask Buffy to marry him.

Smiling wistfully to himself, he thought over the years and all that led to this event. Friends and enemies and loved ones and those lost to the good fight. Anya and the manhood and maturity he developed during his time with her. His parents and the example they set for him to fight tooth and nail to achieve so much more than they ever had or believed he ever could. Joyce and the wonderful example of being a parent and a good friend to her children and their friends. Tara and the beauty of the love she shared with Willow. His experiences, thoughts, feelings, triumphs and failures all led to this night when he would finally claim the one woman he's always loved.

Oh yeah, he's freakishly scared, but looking forward to asking Buffy to be his wife.

Shutting the small box, Xander slipped it back in his jacket pocket. "Tonight's going to be a great night." He just knew it. Nothing was going to go wrong because he said so. Positive thinking, that's his motto these days. With a wide grin on his face that couldn't be knocked off by Mr. T from Rocky 3, he hopped out of his car and walked inside the brightly lit convenience store/gas station hybrid. The door jingles signaled his arrival.

"Good evening, sir."

His kindly wave at the lady behind the counter came with a second glance that took in the whole of her appearance. His eyes did a double take. She looked to be at least eighty years old. A short, very slender woman who wore thick glasses. Her long gray hair complimented a face that he figured was probably lovely once upon a time. As striking as her advanced age was for a woman operating a late night convenience store seemingly by herself, her eyes held a powerfully intense gaze. From one look he could tell her mind was sharp and alert.

"Hello," Xander finally replied after he shook himself free of whatever came over him.

"My name is Ruth. Can I help you find something?"

She didn't seem to blink. Could she blink? And she wore an interesting smirk Xander couldn't quite understand. "Uhm, no. That's okay. I see the liquor section back there. It's usually always back there in stores like these."

"Ah ha, an experienced shopper." Ruth nodded as her eyes followed the new customer as he waked through the store. He sure was a handsome one, she considered with an appreciative glance. Some fifty years ago she might of came from around the counter and flirted with him. He did have one world-class butt. "So, you're new in town?"

"Yep," Xander said as he perused the candy bar selections. He already had a bottle of wine and some deodorant in his hands. "My girlfriend and I are in town to see your famous wax museum, and then we'll be back on our road trip tomorrow afternoon."

"That wax museum attracts so many people."

"Is there anything else you could recommend we do in town before we leave?"

"Not really," she replied. "It's pretty dead around here."

Xander figured as much, it being a small town and all. "No biggie. Me and my girl are kinda eager to get back on the road anyway."

"Sounds like fun, unfortunately."

Xander wondered what she meant by unfortunately, but shook it off. Maybe she was just this side of senile, at least a little. Two Watchchamacallits, two Snickers, and a bag of peanut M&M's were his snacks of choice. He carried his bounty to the counter and laid them down. "This will be all." As he reached for his wallet, out of the corner of his eye he saw three men about half a block away approaching the convenience store on foot. They sure were walking slowly. "I thought I was the only one up this late," he attempted to joke with a smile.

Slowly, Ruth lifted her eyes to him, her lips curling. "Yeah, people stay up pretty late around here. It's hard to sleep when you... you know." She winked.

For some strange reason Xander did not like that wink at all. "That's cool. I was starting to think this was a ghost town," he laughed.

"Oh, that's about seventy miles down the road. This is a zombie town."

Xander thought she sure had a good sense of humor for a woman her age. "Zombie town?" he laughed. "And here I thought I was in funky town."

Ruth gestured towards the door, drawing his attention. "See those three slow lumbering fella's. They ain't coming here for lottery tickets or condoms," she explained sarcastically. "There coming here to eat you. Emphasis on the eat part."

Xander held her stare for nearly a minute and then burst out laughing. He pointed at her as if to say 'You got me good.' "Ruth, my dear," he hoped to charm the aging lady. "If those men are coming here to eat me they are walking so slow it'll take them a hour to get here at the very least." He waited for Ruth to admit she was just messing with him. She never did, instead quirking a curious brow. "Are you going to tell me they're vampires or something?"

"Nope. Zombies."

Xander peered out at the somewhat wandering men, who upon closer inspection seemed to be dressed in very dirty ragged clothing and had some serious skin issues. A swelling dread began to grow in the pit his stomach. "I saw Dawn of the Dead two years. Those zombies were running like track stars on steroids. These guys look like the poster boys for a arthritis special." "So you're used to believing what you see on movies is real?"

"Ruth, I've seen more crazy crap in my life that you wouldn't even believe. I was almost eaten by an insect woman. My best friend turned to the dark side of the force once and I had to pull her back from destroying the world. A young woman I came to love like a sister was really a ball of ancient energy turned into human form. I was possessed by a hyena once, and let me tell ya, that wasn't like a birthday party. I know some TV and movie stuff is real."

"Calm down, calm down. I saw Dawn of the Dead as well. Those zombies were an idealized bunch. The ones that frequent this cursed town are your garden variety George A. Romero sort of undead. They ain't got much up here," she poked a finger to her head. "But they can attack in numbers and bite hard. They will try to turn you into the undead if they don't eat you. I'm not one hundred percent sure since they are kinda unpredictable."

Scratching his head at the lack of good luck his life has always enjoyed, Xander saw that two other slow walking zombies had joined the original three zombies. They all had their arms raised and were almost bumping into each other as they crossed over into the parking lot.

Rapping his hand on the counter, a jovial Xander turned to Ruth and said, "Please tell me Ashton Krutcher is hosting a new show called 'Punk'd for People who aren't Famous'? Please tell me he's going to hop out any minute and yell surprise?"

"Sorry. You're not being punked, or whatever you called it. Those zombies are going to come here, walk in this store and eat you. Or turn you into one of them. Maybe a little of both. Either way it's gonna hurt like the dickens."

"Okay, what in the hell is going on here?" Xander demanded to know. Suddenly he heard something heavy drop. He saw that Ruth had laid a big duffle bag on the counter.

"Inside this bag I got two Remington pump shot guns, a shitload of shells, three grenades, and a couple of bottles of Avalon bottled water. Even though I can't help you fight, I like to give nice fella's like yourself a chance at least."

Exasperated as he looked around, Xander shouted, "What is this! A zombie travel bag!"

"For the most part, yes."

"Aren't you afraid they are going to hurt you?"

"Me?" she laughed, shaking her head. "I'm cursed along with the town. There are only five living people in all of Bellefonte. Everyone else is very dead. Have been for well over fifty years."

More Sunnydale-like weirdness for him to deal with. At least the zombies were slow walkers. Xander simply could not wrap his brain around his newest predicament. "Tell me the whole story. Who cursed the town?"

"I don't remember."

"What do you mean you don't remember!"

"Sonny, I'm 165 years old. I barely remember my own name. All I know is that no one since the curse came into effect has made it out of this town alive."

"Why hasn't anyone ever searched the town for missing people and stuff like that?"

"This country elected George Bush Jr as president. Are you really banking on sanity here?"

Dammit! Sometimes Xander hated logic. Especially when he agreed with it. "Is there a way to uncurse the town?"

"Don't you want to get to your little lady friend and make sure she's okay?"

"Ruth, if those zombies get to her first, they're the ones in trouble. I'll be heading back there soon enough. For now I need some answers."

"If you kill one hundred zombies within twenty four hours of your arrival inside city limits then the curse will be broken."

"Okay, who told you this?"

"I don't remember?"

"When was this told to you?"

"I forgot."

"How do you know that killing fifty zombies will work?"

"Call it a hunch."

No time to keep bantering with the scary old chick, Xander threw the wine and snacks in the gun bag.

"Hey! Aren't you going to pay for those?"

"Call it a donation." Having learned how to properly operate and fire weapons overseas in London, Xander loaded the pump shot gun and then slung the duffle bag over his shoulder. "Shooting them in the head is still the best thing, right?"

"Yep. Blowing out their knee caps works well too."

"Are you sure you're going to be alright?"

He was an honest to goodness nice fella. "I so wanna have sex with you?"

Xander kind of groaned and shook and shuddered. "You just scared me far more than the zombies do."

"I have that effect on men," Ruth said with a shrug. "Don't try your cell phones. They won't work here. Cursed town and all."

Xander knew he had to get to Buffy right now and high tail it out of town. "Uhm, thanks for the guns and candy bars and stuff."

"Oh don't worry about it. You'll be dead soon enough."

"Your optimism is inspiring," Xander muttered as he exited the store. He raised the pump shot gun, aimed, and blew the head off one zombie from twenty feet away. Thankfully, they hadn't reached his car yet.

"Brains... brains... BRAAAIINNNSSS," the zombies began to growl in unison.

"This is so not happening!" Xander grunted while firing twice more, taking out the legs of one zombie, whose bloody limbs flew in opposite directions. He got the other in a headshot that even impressed him. The crimson splatter flew everywhere. "Giles, I'm sending you a bouquet of roses as soon as I can for all those gun lessons."

He tossed the duffle back in the passenger seat, jumped in his car and started the engine. Sparing a glance into his rear view mirror, he strapped his seat belt on, and then gunned the engine in reverse and slammed into the final two zombies. The impact knocked them off their feet. Their frail bodies landed hard and rolled across the concrete.

Xander put the car in drive and then looked ahead. Zombies... many, many zombies now began filling the streets from all directions. "Crap!" He gunned the car and began swerving and dodging as many as he could on his way back to the hotel. "MY LUCK SUCKS SO FREAKING BAD!" he was overheard by the zombies yelling as he drove past him. "DID I EAT PUPPIES IN ANOTHER LIFE OR SOMETHING!"

**'Swifty's' End of the Road Hotel Buffy and Xander's room on the fourth floor.  
Tuesday, July 30, 2006 1:20 PM Bellefonte, Kentucky**

"Yes."

The definition of the word was simply that it is so; as you say or ask. It's used to express affirmation, agreement, and or consent.

For Buffy Summers that definition felt woefully inadequate in describing what the word meant to her tonight. While standing in front of the dressers vanity mirror in the sexiest underwear she brought for the trip, she said the word 'yes' a few times in preparation for being asked the most important question of her entire life.

"Yes."

Dabbing on a little of her new Carolina Herrera 212 perfume, Xander's personal favorite, she tried out saying the word in a couple of different voices so that she could nail the proper tone. She had to appear both shocked and overjoyed while not revealing that she's known for quite some time he was going to ask her to marry him. In her opinion the word 'yes' meant that her whole life as she knew it was about to change for the better. That her singlehood was over and she was now an 'us' rather than a lonely 'me'.

She was more than a little ready for an 'us'.

"Yes, Xander. I will marry you," Buffy declared to herself in the mirror while spraying on her Victoria's Secret Whispering Mist body spray. Fresh from a very fast shower, even though she was going to put on the same clothes she had been wearing so she would appear unsuspecting of Xander's proposal, that didn't mean all the hot celebratory sexing that would follow her 'yes' didn't require a little something special. So she pampered herself a bit just for fun.

Her giggly laughter embarrassed her even though she was all alone. She felt there was magic in the air tonight. She put her clothes back on while trying to imagine how Xander would ask. Would he surprise her by putting the ring in something she had to open like a bag of potato chips? Her sweetie had that odd kind of mentality. Maybe he would tell her to look away at something, and then when she looked back him he'd be holding the ring out to her? Or would he pace the room nervously while trying to find the right words to ask her? Perhaps he'll just go the traditional route and fall to one knee, profess his undying love, and beg her to be his wife even though she knows the last woman who said yes was left at the alter.

All were interesting possibilities. Buffy just wanted to get it over with and be engaged. While she didn't have a Leave it to Beaver-type outlook of their future, or the unrealistically optimistic view of an immature woman, she did love Xander with all her heart and wanted to spend the rest of her life with him.

At age 25 she knew she was ready for this next step. She felt energized and excited by the life ahead of her. He was the one she had been looking for all along. Her prize at the end of the day. Things were definitely looking up.

Buffy walked to the open window and peered through the curtains. The pool was closer to the hotel than she thought made sense, but whatever. She looked for signs of Xander's car... or any car on the street at all. "Where is he?"

Grinning, she thought that he probably took a drive to the wax museum after asking for directions just so he wouldn't have to look for it tomorrow and ask for directions in front of her. He was such a man sometimes. Even that side of him made him all the more special to her.

Strolling over to her purse on the bed, she reached inside for her cell phone and dialed Xander's number. All she heard was static. Shaking her head at the stupid machine and dumb plan she had because she was to lazy to sign up for a new one, she tossed the offending object back in her purse. A quick glance back to the window still didn't reveal her what she wanted to see.

One thing was different though. Down the street she did make out some old people walking. At least by how slow they were moving she assumed they were old. Maybe taking a midnight stroll because of the good weather? It looked to be around eight of them.

No biggie, Buffy shrugged. She's getting engaged tonight. Nothing else mattered. All was right in the world. Good had triumphed over evil. The happy ending was in sight.

Without warning her ultra-sensitive hearing picked up a rambling noise from outside the room. It sounded as if some one was dragging something down the hall. "I see I'm not the only night owl around here," she was happy to note from her perch on the edge of the bed.

As they sound grew volume it seemed to blend into a constant groaning that began to weird the Slayer out just a bit. All of a sudden a loud thud sounded against the door, as if someone used his or her fist.

"This better not be some drunk person looking for his room." Buffy walked to the door and tried to peek through the keyhole. She could barely see due to the placement of the hole and her diminutive height. Cursing her genetics for the one-millionth time, she opened the door.

Three truly ugly men with the kind of skin Proactive Solutions Acne & Blemish Control couldn't hope to help stood there and stared at her. Their faces were grotesquely mutilated and the rank stench from their defiled, grungy clothing caused Buffy to take a step back.

As she slammed the door in their faces she was hardly afraid as much as clearly annoyed. Hopefully this was some big ole practical joke and when she opened the door it would be some frat guys who saw her walk in, thought she was cute and wanted to scare her and then apologize and ask her to a late night pool party.

Yes, Buffy Summers vacationed on the river of denial quite often. She liked it there.

"Hahahahaha, you guys are so funny." With a positive outlook on things, she swung the door back open and waited for the joke to commence. There was just no way she was staring at three zombies. This was Kentucky. Kentucky was, as far as she knew, zombie-free. Sure, they had that Jeepers Creepers thingy, but he wasn't anywhere near Bellefonte. "Come on guys. It's late. Jokes over."

She waited as they slowly lifted their arms and began growling. Their gnarled faces took aim at her. And when she saw through the gaping hole that was supposed to be the stomach of the zombies on the right, well, she knew what the score was. "Dammit!"

Buffy slammed the door again.

Try as she might to ignore it, her Slayer senses were going haywire. Danger was all around her of the dark and foreboding kind. She had to think fast. Xander wasn't back yet and she had to get the hell out of here. But what if there were people in the hotel who didn't know what was going on? She couldn't just leave them behind.

The zombies began banging loudly on the door. So loud the doors hinges were shaking.

First things first. She grabbed her suitcase, shut it, and then grabbed Xander's. She ran to the window and tossed them outside near the pool area. Second, thankfully someone left a broom in the bathroom. She walked in, grabbed it, snapped it in two and now had a couple of weapons.

When in Rome...

The heavy hotel room door exploded off its hinges from the devastating blow of Buffy's forward kick. The power of which smashed the zombie behind it into the wall so hard the plaster cracked. The splintered door pieces embedded in his body. The other two zombies barely had a second to react, and couldn't fast enough if they had more.

Attacking the one on the left first, Buffy slammed one jagged end of the broom stick through it's mouth with such force it burst through the back of it's neck. The other zombie reached for the Slayers throat, until it's was punctured by the other end of the broomstick.

Both fell to the floor like a sack of potatoes. Still groaning and shifting, but at least they weren't trying to get back up.

Buffy spun around when the zombie up against the wall shoved what was left of the door away, and then lunged for her. She promptly sidestepped it, wrapped her arms around its neck and twisted it all away around so that he could see behind himself. The zombie heaved blood from what was left of its mouth as it twitched, grunted, and then fell face first to the floor.

"This is some crazy shit."

Buffy didn't curse often, and what she said was odd considering all that she had seen in her life. But why did it have happen tonight of all nights? Here of all places? She shook her head in utter disbelief. Who had she so fucked over in another life to deserve this?

Running down the dimly lit hall as fast as she could, Buffy began banging on every door and checking to see if any were unlocked. "EMERGENCY! EMERGENCY!ZOMBIES ARE GOING TO TRY AND EAT YOU! THIS IS NOT A JOKE! ZOMBIES ARE IN THIS HOTEL AND YOU WILL DIE IF YOU DO NOT GET OUT OF HERE NOW!" She yelled up and down the hall until she reached one room that was unlocked.

"Sorry to interrupt, but you need too..." Buffy stopped on a dime and stared at the horror before her. She almost threw up right on the spot. She felt like she needed to take a five-hour bath to remove the dirtiness from her. Two zombies were having sex on the floor in all their disgustingly naked unglory. They were writhing and shaking and thrusting and...

"YOU ZOMBIES ARE SICK! I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW YOU COULD DO THAT!" Overcome with ewww beyond words, Buffy rushed in, tore the door of it's hinges with her bare hands and began slamming it down on the two zombies so hard their their frail bodies broke apart. When she was sure they were dead... uhm, dead-er, she shuddered from the sight of what she had just seen. "I'M FREAKING OUT HERE!"

Stomping done the hall, she searched in vain for wall-mounted fire alarms. Anything at all to signal that peoples lives were in danger.

Buffy found a janitors closet. Looking inside she saw a baseball bat. It was the closest thing she could use as a weapon. Gripping it tightly, she hit the hallway running and saw several zombies blocking one end, while and six were by the elevator.

Buffy's eyes focused her fury. Her blood pumped venom. She snarled, and then proceeded to shove her size 7.5 foot up their collective undead assess.

"MY FIRST NIGHT IN SUNNYDALE I WAS ATTACKED BY VAMPIRES!"

The crack of the bat against one zombie's skulls shattered his flesh and bone across the wall behind it in an array of dark red.

"THE FIRST TIME I HAD SEX MY BOYFRIEND STARTED KILLING PEOPLE THE NEXT MORNING! I DIDN'T EVEN GET ANY CUDDLE TIME!"

Buffy punched one of the zombies heads clean of it's body, and then went to work on three more, battering them with vicious body shots that sent them clear off their feet due to her immense strength.

"I GOT MY BUTT KICKED BY A VAMPIRE NAMED SUNDAY ON MY FIRST DAY OF COLLEGE!"

"BUT!" Buffy smashed her fist in the gut of one zombie and felt all his ribs give way. "I WILL NOT!" She roundhouse kicked another zombie into a fatter one behind it. "LET YOU UNDEAD JERKS!" She kick-flipped off one wall and shoulder tackled into three zombies and began beating the unholy crap out of them. "INTERFERE WITH ME GETTING ENGAGED! I DIDN'T BRING YOU INTO THIS WORLD BUT I WILL TAKE YOU OUT!"

Ass was getting kicked in every direction.

Gasping for air and thoroughly infused with her Slayer calling, Buffy stood covered in smelly zombie ooze amidst a hallway full of dead body parts and the bodies they were once attached too. She stepped over a few and glanced out of a hallway window. Thankfully she saw Xander car finally pulling up in front of the hotel. "Wait until he hears about this."

**Five Minutes Ago.**

'No stop signs, speed limit. Nobody's gonna slow me down. Like a wheel, gonna spin it. Nobody's gonna mess me around. Hey Satan, payin' my dues. Playin' in a rocking band. Hey Momma, look at me. I'm on my way to the promised land. I'm on the highway to hell. Mmmhmm, highway to hell.'

"Oh great. Nice depressing music to inspire me to stay alive during this night of the freaking living dead!" Xander felt a little out of his mind, and then quickly changed the radio station as he put the pedal to the metal. He needed to get to Buffy.

'I'm so tired of being here. Suppressed by all my childish fears. And if you have to leave. I wish that you would just leave. 'Cause your presence still lingers here. And it won't leave me alone. These wounds won't seem to heal.  
This pain is just too real. There's just too much that time cannot erase.'

"You're not helping me Evanescence!" Xander squinted his eyes, swerving and weaving down streets now filled with dozens of zombies. No law enforcement meant no need to heed any traffic laws. He zoomed past stop signs and ignored all red lights. He changed the radio station one more time.

'The White Zombie and Rob Zombie marathon is about to begin, Strap yourselves in for five hours of zombie music.'

"Honestly, God. Are you just up there laughing at me? Is that it? Am I heavens joke or something?" Having had enough, Xander shut off the radio as soon as the hotel was in sight. His heart was beating a mile a minute, but as worried as he was about Buffy he knew she was more than capable of taking care of herself. The problem was that the streets were now filled as far as the eye could see with the undead. There were too many to count and they were all converging, albeit slowly, on the hotel.

Having gunned the last three blocks at 75 MPH, Xander pulled up in front of the hotel. Two lumbering zombies covered in filth sauntered of the hotel entrance, and upon seeing him began advancing on his car.

Adjusting what was in the duffle bag, Xander slung it over his shoulder and hopped right out of the car. He fired a perfect shot that detonated the first zombie's head into bloody fragments that flew in every direction. The second zombie seemed to look at the body standing beside it decapitated. Paying his headless comrade no mind, he wanted to feed and his target was nearby.

Rushing it, Xander made his move first, bashing the butt of the shot gun into the zombies mid-section with all his strength, and then delivered another hard blow to the side of it's head that sent it crashing down onto the concrete sidewalk. One well placed blast to its neck seperated its head from its body. "Thank you Faith for getting me hooked on Resident Evil. Video games might be violent, but just in case you're ever in a fight with zombies it can be highly educational."

Dashing inside the hotel, Xander ran straight toward Swifty Myers desk and aimed the gun at his head. "I know all about this towns wacko curse, ageless Ruth, and the zombies. I have questions and I want answers. I want them now."

Staring down the barrel of his tenant's shotgun didn't seem to deter Swifty in the least. He focused his one good eye on Xander while scratching his fat belly. "Hey fella, I wish you all the luck in the world. I hope you survive and all that. I really do. The problem is no one has in the seventy-nine years I've been running this place. So I'll answer any questions you have. I just wouldn't bet on you living past the next," he checked his watch, "hour or so."

"The old lady at the convenience store told me..." Suddenly, Xander spun around and fired twice, nailing the kneecaps of a tall zombie that was creeping from around the corner wall. His legs literally blew apart. His upper torso was still trying to crawl across the floor. "About a way to break the curse. We have to kill one hundred zombies and the curse will be broken, right?"

Swifty shrugged as if he didn't care until Xander cocked the gun again. "Yeah, that's true, but no one ever has. You are horrifically out numbered and will eventually run out of ammunition. There are well over seventy zombies in this hotel alone and more on the way." He pointed over Xander's shoulder at the street facing the hotel that was quickly becoming crowded with the undead. "You only got so many bullets and that little hot girlfriend of yours is knee high to a grasshopper. I wouldn't be surprised if she wasn't already zombie-chow."

At that very moment an ear splitting shatter of glass and concrete sounded from outside the hotel. Xander and Swift saw dust, crumbling blocks of dry wall, shards of glass and three zombie bodies each missing a limb fall from the sky. It didn't look as if they had been thrown out a window. It looked as if someone threw them through a wall with a window attached.

Wearing a confident smirk, Xander nodded toward Swifty. "My honey ain't even a little afraid of the undead. They should be afraid of her."

"She's up there all alone."

"I'd feel sorry for them."

"You'll still be overwhelmed soon enough," Swifty pointed out as he lazily lifted his feet up on his desk. "You're going to die tonight."

Xander knew that verbally sparing with the fatso wasn't going to save his or anyone else's life. "Are there any other people alive in this hotel?"

"Nope. Just you, your gal, and me."

His career called out to him and he listened. Xander used his mind and quickly formulated a plan. It wasn't a great one, and it would probably get him killed, but it at least made a little sense. "Where's the hotel basement?"

Just around that corner," Swifty pointed out. The young man ran past him without saying another word. "Say your prayers, buddy. You're going to die tonight."

**Ten Minutes Later**

The bone-jarring force of Buffy's fist impacted against the hulking zombie's head tore and part of it's jaw-flesh from it's face, leaving him with half of one. The punch shifted its wobbling frame sideways as it stumbled. She grabbed the back of the zombie's head and rammed it face-first through the wall in one of hotel rooms she had run in while searching for people.

"One more down and hundreds to go." Her bat broke six zombies ago. She ran out of the fifth-floor hotel room and back into the hallway. The elevators weren't working and neither was her cell phone. She had to fight her way here in hopes of finding someone else alive, but so far she hadn't found anyone.

Just a little while ago she heard gunshots. Xander hadn't brought a gun with him, but if that was him or if he hooked up with someone with a weapon she was sure he was doing exactly what she was. Trying to save lives. "My future hubby has a good head on his shoulders," she told herself for comfort. "He'll be alright."

Another troubling component was that she smelled something odd in the air. This old building still had radiators aligned on the bottom of the hallway walls. It smelled like... she sincerely hoped it wasn't that.

Upon turning a corner, Buffy felt the thick calloused hands of a zombie hard wrap around her throat. It's ghastly mouth opened as if it were about to bite her with crooked, rotten teeth. Her hands gripped it's wrists and wrenched outward, tearing the zombie's arms from it's body. She began beating the armless undead and the other four that were with him with it's arms. At one point she jammed the entire limb through the chest of a zombie, and then she smacked another so hard it's body partially tore from the waist up.

You just didn't fuck with a Slayer. You just didn't.

"Gross," Buffy thought upon inspecting herself in a mirror. She's covered in blood, zombie ooze, and sweat. Only the sweat belonged to her. Thankfully, the undead were slow moving and easy targets, but their numbers were growing. If those things worked the way she knew zombies were supposed to then if they bit her she would become one.

"Never a dull moment," she quipped as she carefully moved down the hall while banging on every door she came across. She didn't have me to go to the sixth floor, and had decided that after sweeping this one she had to find Xander. She knew he could take care of himself, but she had no intention of letting anything happen to him ever. She loved him far too much for that.

Gunshots again.

Six in rapid succession. The blaring seemed to grow louder from the north stairwell. Buffy sprinted there and then heard...

"BUFFY, WHERE ARE YOU!"

She could breathe again and silently sent a little prayer upstairs. "I'M UP HERE, XANDER. THE FIFTH FLOOR!"

She looked down the winding stairwell and saw her honey firing and reloading as he ran up the stairs. He was drenched in sweat and looked nearly exhausted. Still, he was alive and that meant everything to her.

As soon as he reached the fifth floor, Buffy flung herself in his arms and hugged him tight. "I was so worried about you."

"We smell so bad, honey."

"I know. But at least we're still alive."

"You wear zombie goo beautifully," he said, smiling down at her. Despite the slight bruising her hug might have given him, he hid the pain well.

"Sweat makes you look... uhm... sweaty." She appended, "But sweaty in a cool and sexually satisfying sort of way."

"Less banter. More run." Xander grabbed her hand, looked around and quickly found what he was searching for. "Come'on."

Buffy was led down the hall to a window that faced the front of the hotel. "Oh boy," she nervously croaked as she peaked out and saw the entire area surrounded by dozens of zombies. Men, women, even children of the undead all coming to kill them. "You just had to see a wax museum. didn't you?"

Her accusatory tone wasn't helping. "How was I to know we'd wind up in the town of the living dead?"

"On our next road trip you are not picking any destinations."

"If we live through this one, fine." Xander spun around to face her. "I have a plan. It's kinda loony toons, but it is a plan."

"Does it involve a helicopter airlifting us out of here?"

"Believe me, you're gonna wish it did." A door swung all the way open behind them as five female zombies women slowly entered the hallway and came straight at them. "You take the three on the left."

"Gotcha."

Xander took the fight to the zombies as he used the butt of the shotgun and cracked it against the side of one zombie's head. The violent collision caused its neck to twist in a sick sort of way as it crumbled to the floor. The other zombie grabbed onto the shotgun as they struggled over it.

Using his superior height and weight, Xander drug the zombie over to the window and swung his whole body around so that the zombie was flung half out of the window when he let go of the shot gun. He bent down and grabbed the zombie's legs and then threw her out of the window. She crashed down on a pile of the undead all entering the building.

When he looked back to the hallway he didn't see Buffy or the other three zombies. But he saw that a door was off one of the rooms. He winced upon hearing bones breaking and bodies being thrown and Buffy's fighting grunts. Slaps, vicious kicks, the tearing of a body part... "I bet that leaves a mark," Xander frowned.

Seconds later the Slayer walked out of the room while brushing dust off her hands. She was smiling. Xander just had to ask, "Did you kill all the zombies like a good Slayer?"

Jazzed from the fight, Buffy wasn't in the mood for jokes. "We're gonna be dinner if you don't start talking about this plan of yours soon." Sniffing the air again, she grew very worried. "Oh my God."

"Not God. Gas. Nice, colorless natural gas," Xander was proud to report. "Two crazy folks in this town told me that there's a curse on the town and if we kill at least one hundred zombies within twenty-four hours we'll break the curse."

"So that means all the zombies will die?"

Xander thought it over. "Uhm..."

"Who told you this?"

"Ruth, the 165 year old convenience store worker. She gave me the skinny on Deadville."

"And you believe her, why?"

"At this point it's some information over no information." Buffy nodded, not able to argue with that. "Okay, as soon as I got back here and talked to fat boy, I went into the hotel basement. This old structure uses a big Johnson furnace from the 1940's. None of the rooms here have individual heating controls. So I blew out the pilot light on the furnace and then turned up the heat as far high as it would go. This entire hotel is now being flooded with flammable gas. We're gonna blow this place sky-high and break the curse, or at least get away and run from the cops. Either or."

Brilliant or insane? Buffy wasn't quite sure which he was yet, but she trusted him with her life. "Anyone else alive in this place?" He shook his head. Good. "Okay, what's your escape plan?" While nibbling on his bottom lip, Xander appeared as if he were about to speak and then he pulled back a bit, looked down at the floor, then away, then back at her apologetically. He gave a half shrug. "Please do not tell me you don't have a escape plan?"

"Hey, I did my part coming up with a break-the-curse-plan. You're asking a lot of me. I just ran up five flights of stairs."

If she didn't love him with all her heart she'd ring his neck. Pacing back and forth a couple of times, it hit her. A nice, simple escape plan. He wasn't going to like it, but oh well. "Follow me and don't look back."

"Trust me, I love walking behind you when you're wearing tight jeans."

"No flirting while zombies are trying to eat us." Buffy led him back to the stairwell, kicked the crap out of two zombies that had made it to the fifth floor and then ran up towards the sixth with Xander in tow. When they arrived Buffy didn't stop at the sixth, but ran up one more flight of stairs to the roof.

Buffy kicked the metal door so hard it half hung from it's mounting. They walked across the roof to its left edge, and then it's right. Perfect, she thought. "Okay, we're here."

Xander could hear the zombies coming in greater numbers as they flooded the stairwell and likely most of the hotel lobby by now. "Did you call for a helicopter?" he hoped against hope. Buffy glared at him. "Sorry." She pointed down.

The swimming pool.

Xander scratched his head and then it hit him. His eyes widened and he began backing away from the edge. "Oh no. No way. What's your back-up plan?"

"I don't have one?"

"Alternate?"

"That's the same as a back-up. Sorry. This is it." She hopped onto the ledge, balanced herself, and reached for him. "Just hold my hand and we'll jump together. We just need something to ignite that gas."

Xander wasn't a fan of heights and jumping off a six-story hotel wasn't his idea of a good time. "This is like Fear Factor without the safety nets."

"Life's a gamble, honey."

"No, life sucks. Particularly mine."

"And I suppose mine's perfect?" He laughed and then took her hand. She saw him reach inside the duffle bag over his shoulder and produced what looked like a grenade. "You have got to be kidding me."

"Ruth gave it to me. She was kinda cool in a old, scary, wanted-to-sex-me-up sort of way."

"A 165 year old woman wanted to sex you up?"

Xander paid her laughter no mind. As the zombies filed in three at a time on the rooftop he pulled the pin from the grenade and threw it over their heads at the stairwell. He saw it drop in. "One."

"Two."

"THREE!" Buffy and Xander shouted as they jumped from the roof and began free falling down. A massive explosion erupted around them but they couldn't see anything. Their hands seperated as they tried their best to assume something resembling a diving pose. When they hit the water the twin splashes was drowned out by the deafening bluster of fire and debris as the hotel was rocked by one blast after another. Roaring flames escaped every window and a part of the south side of the building literally fell off as the structure blew up.

Desperate for air, Xander twisted and turned under water. He felt sore everywhere, but had the presence of mind to start kicking his feet while swimming for the surface. He shouldn't have survived that fall but you don't look a gift horse in the mouth. His grandfather used to say that. When his head crested he saw Buffy on the other side of the pool. "You okay, honey?"

"Never better, honey." Buffy pulled herself up out of the pool, and then walked over and helped Xander. Side by side they stared at the burning hotel as pillows of thick black smoke rose into the night sky. Every single window blew out. Glass and concrete and all kinds of other stuff were strewn out everywhere across the ground. "So, you think the curse was broken?"

Xander walked ahead with Buffy following him as they rounded the hotel. "I don't see anymore undead. That's of the good."

Upon reaching the front of the building, Xander and Buffy ran towards his car. Aside from a lot of dust, a few dents, and splotches of zombie goo, it seemed to have survived the blast pretty good.

"You two don't look any worse for wear."

Buffy sought the unfamiliar voice followed by Xander. A black 1965 Cadillac Deville pulled up alongside them with Ruth at the wheel.

"The curse is broken. The zombies are all dead again. And you've freed the five of us," Ruth gestured to the three old men in the backseat and Swifty, who sat beside her up front. "You did good."

"Are you the girl who wanted to sex up my honey?" Buffy asked out of the blue. She had never met a woman who was 165 years old before. She didn't look a day over eighty.

"Oh yeah, but I could see he only loved you. After all, he did pass up flirting with me," Ruth grinned a wide false teeth-filled grin. She tossed a set of keys toward Xander. "My house is the first one-story brick home on Koster, about two blocks that way," she gestured down the street. "Go and grab a shower, change clothes, and get a good nights sleep. I have plenty of food in the fridge, so help yourselves. Just lock up when you leave."

"Thanks," Xander replied while staring at the keys.

"Yeah, thanks," Buffy added with a gracious smile. "So where are you guys off to?"

"Where going on vacation to the most sinful, exciting, butt-kicking, sexy place on earth," Ruth said.

Buffy considered, "Vegas"  
"No, Iowa. Tata. Have a great life you two. And thanks again." With those parting words Ruth took off like a bat out of hell, gunning her car straight out of town.

Standing next to their car covered in zombie slime while surrounded by dozens of fiery zombie bodies and a hotel currently burning to the ground, Buffy and Xander shared a nice kiss because whatever the heck else were they supposed to do. This was one wild and insane night, which pretty much summed up the last decade of their lives.

"You know honey," Xander stated while holding her in his arms. "I was going to ask you a very important question tonight."

"Oh reeaaallly?" Buffy did her best to look surprised.

"Yeah, but I wanted the setting and moment to be perfect." He looked around them and sighed. "This really isn't it."

"Anywhere we are is perfect, Xander."

"I know, its just..."

He was as sweet as he was surely the love of her life. And it dawned on her that as badly as she wanted him to ask her to marry him; he just as badly wanted to ask. The moment was a special one he was looking forward to and for her he wanted the setting to be perfect. So for him she could be patient a little while longer.

Buffy yanked his collar down so that she could kiss him again, and she did for a long time. "I'm sure we'll have another perfect moment real soon. It's not like either of us are going anywhere."

Curiously enough, Xander thought he saw a hint of understanding and recognition in her lovely hazel eyes. He tried to figure it out, but gave up when she beamed that beautiful smile of hers at him. "Let's go to Ruth's house and grab a shower."

"And a good nights sleep."

"And some hot early morning loving."

Buffy laughed all the way to the passenger side of the car. "Let's go."

**The End of Chapter 2**

**Chapter 3: "Possession."**


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